Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent on travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city enter with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent on travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city enter with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. 1N7G
In big cities, lots of people, especially young persons, live in the suburban area since the price of the estate is much cheaper. However, these peole spend too much time on the way to their office, which lower the life happiness of these people. Thus, some people advice that the goverment should construct more apartments on the place where parks and gardens are located, So that people can rent or buy these apartments near to their office. In this way, the time spending on the commute will be shortened much to save them plant of time. The saved time can be used for entirement, keeping fit, or learning new knowledges to enhance the people's lift quality. But other people have different point of view. Firstly, closing the parks and gardens is not fair for the people who live there near to them. Most of the estates near to a park/garden are more expensive that those are not. If the park is moved out that area, the price of those apartment will discrease. The life is also changed to bad for those people since they cannot do morning exercises and take fresh air in the park anymore. On the other part, they think improving the traffic status in the cities will be more efficient way to reduce the commute time, which has no negative impact on any citizens. Broadening the ways and encoveraging people to take public transports are the right ways for goverment to do. For me, it is really a bed idea to change parks/gardens to apartment buildings, which can only solve the long commute time of small partial of the people and bring too much negative impacts to the society. Constructing more roads and more metro-lines would reduce much time on the way to work for these who live in suburban area.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young persons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the suburban area since the price of the estate is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
cheaper.
However
, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
spend too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to their office, which lower the life happiness of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advice that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should construct more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
on the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens
are located
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can rent or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
near to their office. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending on the commute will
be shortened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
to save them plant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
entirement
, keeping fit, or learning new
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
to enhance the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lift quality.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view.
Firstly
, closing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there near to them. Most of the estates near to a park/garden are more expensive that those are not. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
out that area, the price of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
discrease
. The life is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since they cannot do morning exercises and take fresh air in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
anymore.

On the other part, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
improving the traffic status in the cities will be more efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on any citizens. Broadening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
encoveraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take public transports are the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
to do.

For me, it is
really
a bed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
parks/gardens to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
buildings, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solve the long commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
partial of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and bring too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to the society. Constructing more roads and more metro-lines would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to work for these who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in suburban area.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent on travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city enter with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent on travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city enter with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.