Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. 9yeW
Road accidents take the lives of many drivers and pedestrians every year. Some argue that the best way to reduce them is to have severe penalties for offending traffic regulations, while others think other solutions may work better. I think, although such punishments are helpful, other measures should be taken alongside them. (52 words) On the one hand, careless drivers who ignore traffic laws play a major role in many road accidents. For example, some use their mobile phones while driving and do not focus on the road, meaning they would definitely not be able to control their cars in time to avoid accidents. If such drivers know they risk being imprisoned or heavily fined, they will probably be motivated to observe driving regulations more closely. Furthermore, penalising driving offences is the quickest solution since it can be applied immediately and drivers will see the consequences of their faults right away. (97 words) On the other hand, there are various other means of decreasing the number of traffic accidents. Driving license candidates could be required to sit courses aimed at educating them on the virtues of heeding the law while on the road. This would allow them to realise how driving carefully could benefit both themselves and the people around them. Moreover, new cars could be built in such a way that they restrict the drivers’ ability to commit traffic offences like illegal speeding or turns. For instance, the car’s computer could automatically decrease its maximum speed in residential areas or near intersections. (103 words) In conclusion, I think any idea that could increase road safety is worth trying, so while driving offences should be heavily punished, solutions like safety classes for new drivers and technologies that prevent offences are also necessary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
accidents take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and pedestrians every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
them is to have severe penalties for offending traffic regulations,

while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solutions may work better. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, although such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
punishments


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
helpful,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures should
be taken
alongside them. (52 words)

On the one hand, careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
traffic laws play a major role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
road

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
accidents
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mobile phones while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and do not focus
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
on


the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, meaning they would definitely not be able to control their cars in time to avoid

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
accidents
. If such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
know they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
being imprisoned
or
heavily
fined, they
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
will


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
probably
be motivated
to observe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
regulations more
closely
.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalising' is British English.
penalising


driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is the quickest solution since it can
be applied
immediately and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
will

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
see
the consequences of their faults right away. (97 words)

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of decreasing the number of traffic

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
accidents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Driving
license candidates could
be required
to sit courses aimed at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
educating


Did you mean "Then"?
them
on the virtues of heeding the law while on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
realise


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
carefully
could benefit both themselves and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them.

Moreover
, new cars could
be built
in such a way that they restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers’
ability to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
commit
traffic
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
like illegal speeding or turns.
For instance
, the car’s
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
computer


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
could
automatically
decrease its maximum speed in residential areas or near intersections.

(103 words)

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that could increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety is worth trying,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
while

driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
should be
heavily
punished, solutions like safety classes for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
technologies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are
also
necessary.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.

Essay
  American English
19 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts