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Some People Think That Strick Punishments For Driving Offences Are The Key To Reducing Traffic Accidents. Others, However, Believe That Other Measures Would Be More Effective In Improving Road Safety. Discuss Both Views And Give Your Own Opinion. v.1

Some People Think That Strick Punishments For Driving Offences Are The Key To Reducing Traffic Accidents. Others, However, Believe That Other Measures Would Be More Effective In Improving Road Safety. v. 1
The rise in the popularity of snacks and toys amongst generation Z should be credited to the advertisement industry. We live in an era of digital marketing, hence advertisements are reaching all the households throughout the world. Being the most popular form of marketing the affects of adverts on the people are adverse. In my essay below I would like to shed some light on my views. First and foremost, I would like to highlight a few advantages of advertisements. India is a nation where 60% of the population falls under the youth category, There is a lot of competition amongst different brands to promote their products. A good advertisements help people in selecting from a variety of products and services. This awareness ensures that you stay up to date with the ongoing market trend and choose the best and safest alternative for your kids. Secondly, There are serious repercussions to banning advertisements. It impacts the decision making process which in turn affects the buying habits of the mankind. Parents won't be able to decide which snack or toy is harmful for their kids when they do not have a range of products to compare. Besides, the rivalry between various brands keep the competition fair and square and protect the peers from false marketing. This promotes transparency and help people in selecting what's suitable for them. To conclude, I strongly disagree with the statement that advertisements should be banned. I believe banning advertisements would do more harm than good, as people will be left without adequate information about the products and services.
The rise in the popularity of snacks and toys amongst generation Z should
be credited
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
industry. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era of digital marketing,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are reaching all the households throughout the world. Being the most popular form of marketing the affects of adverts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are adverse. In my essay below I would like to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on my views.

First
and foremost, I would like to highlight a few advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. India is a nation where 60% of the population falls under the youth category, There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
competition amongst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in selecting from a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services. This awareness ensures that you stay up to date with the ongoing market trend and choose the best and safest alternative for your kids.

Secondly
, There are serious repercussions to banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. It impacts the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process which in turn affects the buying habits of the mankind. Parents won't be able to decide which snack or toy is harmful for their kids when they do not have a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to compare.
Besides
, the rivalry between various brands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and square and protect the peers from false marketing. This promotes transparency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in selecting what's suitable for them.

To conclude
, I
strongly
disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
be banned
. I believe banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
would do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without adequate information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some People Think That Strick Punishments For Driving Offences Are The Key To Reducing Traffic Accidents. Others, However, Believe That Other Measures Would Be More Effective In Improving Road Safety. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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