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Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. JXXe
The history of people playing sports stretches back to prehistoric era, which just proves the fair point that it is part of our life. Some just take part in a range of sports for fun, while others are convinced that sports have more crucial roles to play in the prosperity of our society. I am personally more inclined to the latter group’s arguments due to the influential effects of sports on multifaceted levels. To begin with, there is no doubt that sports play a huge role in our society at many tiers. The physical gains of engaging in sports have been proven and validated countless times. It helps lower the risk of developing a multitude of illnesses, in particular, cardiovascular diseases, such as myocardial infarction, hypertension, diabetes or infections related to weakened immune system. When people are less likely to suffer from these, which are preventable to a certain degree, they can be more productive at work, as they would obviously call in sick less often, and have more energy to carry on their daily tasks. By being more dedicated to their work, each individual can function in a more desirable way and can be a valued member of his or her society. The upside of sports is gaining more importance in other aspects as well. The enormous psychological benefits we can reap range over a huge spectrum. For example, taking part in team sports like basketball or volleyball can not only give the participants a sense of belonging and achievement but also significantly boost their essential skills such as teamwork, cooperation, communication skills, and problem-solving skills. Another intriguing part that sports play in our neurological domain, which caught my attention lately, is their impact upon our cognition and memory. The theory of brain plasticity supports what we learn even when we are old can add to our cognitive skills, likewise what we do with our body also helps strengthen the intricate connection of the neurons in our brain. Given that the influence of regular exercise on our memory skill is humongous, we should not underestimate its role in both individuals and the society as a whole. Certainly, there are a multitude of people who just love playing sports and there is nothing wrong with that. They consider that sports are there to solely serve the purpose as a leisure activity. Playing sports to unwind and socialise with others, though, still plays a positive role in our life, broadening our social circle and sometimes giving us the opportunity to push ourselves out of our comfort zone. For instance, when you play group sports, you often encounter people from all walks of life, and at times share exceedingly valuable experience. Or, if you try something totally new, that challenge alone may boost self-confidence and self-esteem. In conclusion, whereas some view sports as a mere leisure time activity, others including myself consider that they have contributed to the development of our society by touching each one of us to enjoy our life more fully.
The history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stretches back to prehistoric era, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
proves the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
point that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for fun, while others
are convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have more crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
in the prosperity of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I am
personally
more inclined to the latter group’s arguments due to the influential effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on multifaceted levels.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tiers. The physical gains of engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
been proven
and validated countless times. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
lower the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing a multitude of illnesses,
in particular
, cardiovascular diseases, such as myocardial infarction, hypertension, diabetes or infections related to weakened immune system. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less likely to suffer from these, which are preventable to a certain degree, they can be more productive at work, as they would
obviously
call in sick less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, and have more energy to carry on their daily tasks. By being more dedicated to their work, each individual can function in a more desirable way and can be a valued member of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
society.

The upside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is gaining more importance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects
as well
. The enormous psychological benefits we can reap range over a huge spectrum.
For example
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like basketball or volleyball can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give the participants a sense of belonging and achievement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
significantly
boost their essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as teamwork, cooperation, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Another intriguing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
in our neurological domain, which caught my attention lately, is their impact upon our cognition and memory. The theory of brain plasticity supports what we learn even when we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to our cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
likewise
what we do with our body
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
strengthen the intricate connection of the neurons in our brain.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that the influence of regular exercise on our memory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is humongous, we should not underestimate its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in both individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole.

Certainly
, there are a multitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with that. They consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are there to
solely
serve the purpose as a leisure activity. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to unwind and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with others, though,
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, broadening our social circle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
giving us the opportunity to push ourselves out of our comfort zone.
For instance
, when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all walks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and at times share
exceedingly
valuable experience. Or, if you try something
totally
new, that challenge alone may boost self-confidence and self-esteem.

In conclusion
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a mere leisure time activity, others including myself consider that they have contributed to the development of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by touching each one of us to enjoy our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more
fully
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
502 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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