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Some people think that smartphones are destroying the social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that smartphones are destroying the social interaction today. YrgK
It is certainly true that, these days most people use smartphones to interact with other people. I completely agree with this statement due to some unfavourable reasons. To commence with, smartphones are the main barrier to stop interacting with other social people. Firstly, several people use different social sites to communicate with people who are staying away from them. In present times, mostly the young people are use websites such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and WhatsApp for various purposes. For instance, asurvey conducted by community members and they find that the 80%people are dependent on these websites and they do not have the proper time and interest to meet other people as well as share their ideas with their friends. Therefore, the internet is a root cause to destroy the social interaction of people. Secondly, the second main factor is interest and bonding between people in whole world. In recent times, people have been interested in searching for new information on the internet as well as they have a busy schedule. So, they do not want to meet any people in their daily life. Nevertheless, mobile phones have some benefits also. it is not only beneficial to interaction but also useful for people in various ways. Owing to this, most people find it easy to complete their work at home by the use of various technological things. To illustrate, people suffering from covid 19 and they can not meet to others. So, it is useful in serious conditions. In conclusion, although mobile phones are destroying the strong bonding between people, it has some benefits also. I believe that, smartphones are produce gap in people relations in case of interest and internet.
It is
certainly
true that, these days most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
reasons.

To commence with, smartphones are the main barrier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social sites to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are staying away from them. In present times,
mostly
the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
websites such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and WhatsApp for various purposes.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
asurvey
conducted by community
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
members and
they find that the 80%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are dependent on these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
websites and
they do not have the proper time and interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with their friends.
Therefore
, the internet is a root cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the social interaction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, the second main factor is interest and bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in whole world. In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been interested
in searching for new information on the internet
as well
as they have a busy schedule.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their daily life.

Nevertheless
, mobile phones have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
also
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial to interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various ways. Owing to this, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it easy to complete their work at home by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of various technological things. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
and they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
to others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is useful in serious conditions.

In conclusion
, although mobile phones are destroying the strong bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
also
. I believe that, smartphones are produce gap in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relations in case of interest and internet.
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IELTS essay Some people think that smartphones are destroying the social interaction today.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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