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Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. w2bd
Nowadays, it is commonly seen the debate related to awards given to pupils. A number of people hold the opinion that rewards should be recieved by those who clear the exams with highest marks. Whereas, another school of thought hold by others that is, a reward should be given to those students who improve their study performance. Thus, in this essay i will examine both sides of the argument and give my opinion. Firstly, plethora of people believe that academians who score highest marks should be rewarded becuase it will enhance their positivity. In other words, their confidence, motivation, productivity will boost, consequently. To support this notion they often give referance of a research study conducted on two groups of secondary level students. The groups were placed seperately and assigned to complete a particular task. Furthermore, after achieving the given task, one group recieved a certain amount of money as a prize while other one recieved nothing. As a result, group with an award revealed extra ordinary efficiency than group without any reward. On the other hand, numerous individuals think in a entire different way that is an award-deserving students are those who work on their weaknesses and improve them timely due to the fact that they are steadily progressing from term to term. Moreover, it takes far more efforts than securing first position in the class. For example, if there is a student with an average IQ and improving consistently, is facing a massive challenge than a student with high IQ. Therefore, average IQ student deserves more than high IQ student. In conclusion, both the opinion holders are right according to their mindsets developed through their personal experiences. Although, what i believe is that constant improvement is much more important that securing the top position. Therefore, those who improve continously should be awarded.
Nowadays, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the debate related to awards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to pupils. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that rewards should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the exams with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
marks. Whereas, another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
hold by others
that is
, a reward should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their study performance.
Thus
, in this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will examine both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

Firstly
, plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
academians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
score highest marks should
be rewarded
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuase
it will enhance their positivity. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, their confidence, motivation, productivity will boost,
consequently
. To support this notion they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give
Possible spelling mistake found.
referance
of a research study conducted on two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of secondary level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
were placed
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperately
and assigned to complete a particular task.
Furthermore
, after achieving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
task, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
a certain amount of money as a prize while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
nothing.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with an award revealed
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
efficiency than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
without any reward.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, numerous individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
entire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way
that is
an award-deserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work on their weaknesses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them timely due to the fact that they are
steadily
progressing from term to term.
Moreover
, it takes far more efforts than securing
first
position in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
For example
, if there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with an average IQ and improving
consistently
, is facing a massive challenge than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with high IQ.
Therefore
, average IQ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
deserves more than high IQ student.

In conclusion
, both the opinion holders are right according to their mindsets developed through their personal experiences.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, what
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe is that constant improvement is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that securing the top position.
Therefore
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
continously
should
be awarded
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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