Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life. gR51
It is vital to consider that happiness is a phenomenon possibly everyone wishes to gain. While a number of people believe that they cannot influence on their happiness, I would argue that the only reason of one’s happiness is the person who makes decisions. On the one hand, there are a number of people who usually wait for their happiness to come, considering that there is nothing they could have influence on. In fact, there are a number of conditions such as workplace, relationship, financial affair and health that influence greatly causing people to feel happy or sad. For instance, if the person works in the office where he does not feel comfortable due to the fact of pressure by authorities on the contrary cannot leave it due to difficulties in finding another well-paid job, he generally cannot be happy. On the other hand, the world that surrounds people is actually their own choice. Of course, happiness may not be the result of a certain action or decision, on the contrary series of them for a long time. One of the main reasons of living unhappily is fear in light of the fact that it frequently stops people from taking brave life changing actions. For example, in a number of less developed countries people live in extremely poor conditions which, of course, affects on their feeling of happiness directly. However, they are frequently afraid to change the place they live, lest they lose what they possess. In this case, it would not be appropriate to blame the conditions around on the contrary the person himself. In conclusion, there are a number of conditions that influence people to feel unhappy on the contrary I believe that it is better to take an action and change life instead of complaining about the conditions.
It is vital to consider that
happiness
is a phenomenon
possibly
everyone

wishes to gain. While a
number
of
people
believe that they cannot
influence
on their
happiness
, I would argue that the
only
reason of one’s
happiness
is the person who
makes
decisions.

On the one hand, there are a
number
of
people
who
usually
wait for their
happiness
to

come
, considering that there is nothing they could have
influence
on. In fact, there are a
number
of conditions such as workplace, relationship, financial affair and health that
influence
greatly
causing
people
to feel happy or sad.
For instance
, if the person works in the office where he does not feel comfortable due to the fact of pressure by authorities
on the contrary
cannot
leave
it due to difficulties in finding another well-paid job, he
generally
cannot be happy.
On the other hand
, the world that surrounds
people
is
actually their
own
choice.

Of course
,
happiness
may not be the result of a certain action or decision,
on the contrary
series of them for a long time. One of the main reasons of living
unhappily
is fear in light of the fact that it
frequently
stops
people
from taking brave life changing actions.
For example
, in a
number
of less
developed countries
people
live
in
extremely
poor conditions which,
of course
, affects on their feeling of
happiness
directly
.
However
, they are
frequently
afraid to
change
the place they
live
, lest they lose what they possess.

In this case
, it would not be

appropriate to blame the conditions around
on the contrary
the person himself.
In conclusion
, there are a
number
of conditions that
influence
people
to feel unhappy
on the contrary


I believe that it is better to take an action and
change
life
instead
of complaining about the conditions.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that people are responsible for their happiness. Others feel that happiness depends on other factors in their life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts