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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. YYNK
Many people believe that it is parents' response to upbring their children as an excellent part of society. Nevertheless, others claim that the best institution to develop those skills is school. In my point of view, parents as well as school should teach children the way to be good member of society. On the one hand, parents’ role in teaching is essential and parents are directly involved into their childhood. As babyhood and childhood are the best periods to be taught basic social principles, parents are responsible for their teaching. For instance, according to the survey conducted among university students, upbringing and parental advice which were given in childhood had uneraseable footprint on their future and formed basic social skills for majority of respondents. On the other hand, school is efficient place to develop student as an excellent individual in society. This is because children ages between 7 and 18 years spend most of their time at school. School is a small but a great example of a society. Studying in classes with their peers develop teamwork, cooperation and communication skills, which are essential in social life. Furthermore, there are many responsibilities as home assignments, projects, presentations, which students should complete. In my opinion, it is significant for school to upbring character traits as responsibility in students. In conclusion, people often argue who is the best for development of child as a good member of society: parents or school. However, I belive that both of them have irreplaceable role, and teaching is effective only with cooperation of these two institutions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is parents' response to
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upbring
their children as an excellent part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Nevertheless
, others claim that the best institution to develop those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should teach children the way to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
role in teaching is essential and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
directly
involved into their childhood. As babyhood and childhood are the best periods to
be taught
basic social principles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for their teaching.
For instance
, according to the survey conducted among university students, upbringing and parental advice which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in childhood had
Possible spelling mistake found.
uneraseable
footprint on their future and formed basic social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
respondents.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is efficient place to develop student as an excellent individual in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children ages between 7 and 18 years spend most of their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a great example of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Studying in classes with their peers develop teamwork, cooperation and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are essential in social life.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities as home assignments, projects, presentations, which students should complete. In my opinion, it is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
upbring
character traits as responsibility in students.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue who is the best for development of child as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that both of them have irreplaceable role, and teaching is effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with cooperation of these two institutions.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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