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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of Health and Fitness are decreasing.

The problem of overweight which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is hazardous. In many countries, the number of people become overweight increased and their health condition and fitness level are declining. This essay will discuss some of the reason why this problem have risen and a number of the steps that can be control them. There are myriad of reason which will further explain this argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that the average body weight of people in several countries is rising these days, and that have problem by irregular physical activity. Firstly, many people consumed fast food now a days, and as a result, that consumed food get them overweight. secondly, people have a work for long hours due to the fact business competition is getting tough. So, they have to walk up early in the morning and go to their work, and come back at home late night. Therefore, they have no time to doing a number of exercise. As a result, many people have faced some health problems such as obesity and diabetics. Steps to deal with this problem are various but the most significant ones, people should be need more selective to choosing their diet. People should avoid consuming fast food because that are dangerous for their health. The other thing is that people should do more physical exercise, and need to burn more calories in their daily routine. Moreover, people should be e participate and organised some physical activities programme in their society and at the weekends they have riding by bicycle. I think it is not just making the body healthier also reduce air pollution as well. In conclusion, it is true that many people having problem with bodyweight and health condition. It problem mostly caused by unhealthy lifestyle. People should need to choosing healthier diet and they should have more exercise in their life.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of overweight which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that it is hazardous. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become overweight increased and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition and fitness level are declining. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
reason why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
have risen and a number of the steps that can be control them. There are myriad of reason which will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most preponderant one stems from the fact that the average body weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in several countries is rising these days, and that have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by irregular physical activity.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
Did you mean “nowadays”?
now a days
, and
as a result
, that consumed food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them overweight.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
secondly
,
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people
have a work for long hours due to the fact business competition is getting tough.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
walk up early in the morning and go to their work, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back at home late night.
Therefore
, they have no time to doing a number of exercise.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as obesity and diabetics. Steps to deal with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
are various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most significant ones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be need
more selective to choosing their diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should avoid consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The other thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do more physical exercise, and need to burn more calories in their daily routine.
Moreover
,
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people
should be e participate and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organised’ is British English.
organised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activities
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programme’ is British English.
programme
in their society and at the weekends they have riding by bicycle. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
making the body healthier
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution
as well
.
In conclusion
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
bodyweight
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
mostly
caused by unhealthy lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
Did you mean “need to choose”?
need to choosing
healthier
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diet and
they should have more exercise in their life.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of Health and Fitness are decreasing.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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