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Some people think that money is the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute to happiness?

Some people think that money is the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute to happiness? BXD6
It is believed by some people that the most necessary element which contributes to happiness is money. In my viewpoint, certainly, money is one of the major components that bring happiness in one’s life, additionally, one must have a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment along with wealth. On the one hand, I think it is very significant to have quite a handful of affluence so that we can afford to achieve our desired goals. To be more precise, money is required to possess whatever we wish to have, on the top of it, if our wishes come true it gives us immense happiness. For instance, with the advancement in the society, nowadays, almost every individual have a sense of competition among each other, however, it may be possible that the others have no idea about the clash which is going on in one’s mind, such as if we see people wearing the most trendy outfits, eventually it is natural to crave for owning the similar kind of fashionable clothes. Furthermore, it is very common to desire for more or less the same kind of furniture which our neighbors or our friends own. Nevertheless, it gives us unconditional contentment if we could accomplish the aim of getting what we want. On the other hand, in my opinion, one must have a sense of appeasement. Otherwise, the need to thrive will never be stopped. To be clearer, there should not be a race to attain every small thing which is captivating. For example, it is not important to look or dress similar to someone who can afford expensive dresses, moreover, I think more than the physical appearance one’s expressions, language along with the behavior scores major points, however, it is essential to be presentable. So, it is important to save the resources and fortune by enjoying the pleasure of what we have with us. To conclude, I strongly support that wealth is indeed a very necessary part of our lives to be able to achieve the ambitious, however, to maintain the happiness in life one should have the sense of gratification.
It
is believed
by
some
people
that the most necessary element which contributes to
happiness
is money. In my viewpoint,
certainly
, money is one of the major components that bring
happiness
in one’s life,
additionally
, one
must
have a
sense
of satisfaction and
fulfilment
along with wealth.

On the one hand, I
think
it is
very
significant to have quite a handful of affluence
so
that we can afford to achieve our desired goals. To be more precise, money
is required
to possess whatever we wish to have, on the top of it, if our wishes
come
true it gives us immense
happiness
.
For instance
, with the advancement in the society, nowadays, almost every individual have a
sense
of competition among each other,
however
, it may be possible that the others have no
idea
about the clash which is going on in one’s mind, such as if we
see
people
wearing the most trendy outfits,
eventually
it is natural to crave for owning the similar kind of fashionable clothes.
Furthermore
, it is
very
common to desire for more or less the same kind of furniture which our neighbors or our friends
own
.
Nevertheless
, it gives us unconditional contentment if we could accomplish the aim of getting what we want.

On the other hand
, in my opinion, one
must
have a
sense
of appeasement.
Otherwise
, the need to thrive will never be
stopped
. To be clearer, there should not be a race to attain every
small
thing which is captivating.
For example
, it is not
important
to look or dress similar to someone who can afford expensive dresses,
moreover
, I
think
more than the physical appearance one’s expressions, language along with the behavior scores major points,
however
, it is essential to be presentable.
So
, it is
important
to save the resources and fortune by enjoying the pleasure of what we have with us.

To conclude
, I
strongly
support that wealth is
indeed
a
very
necessary part of our
lives
to be able to achieve the ambitious,
however
, to maintain the
happiness
in life one should have the
sense
of gratification.
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It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people think that money is the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute to happiness?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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