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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples.

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Lr9DK
Pet ownership has become common in recent years, and many children are fond of spending time with their loyal companions like dogs or cats. While some individuals believe that this has a positive impact on a child’s behaviour, others argue that it is unhealthy and they may spread dangerous diseases. This essay will discuss both points of view and agree with the idea that having a pet is beneficial for young ones. On the one hand, the primary reason for individuals to consider household animals as a threat is their aggressive behaviour. That is to say, children below five years do not know how to handle pet animals, and may provoke them by treating them roughly. For example, children may beat the pets or chew their ears. This causes a pet to become angry and attack young ones. Additionally, household pets may spread diseases like allergies and food poisoning because they carry dirt which contains various bacteria, pathogens and virus. However, a little bit of parental supervision is more than enough to take care of these problems. Parents should never leave very young children alone with the pet. It is also important to groom the pets properly so that they do not carry pathogens. On the other hand, having a pet has various benefits for children. Firstly, caring for their furry friends, such as taking them for a walk, feeding them and grooming them teaches them to be responsible not only towards other animals but also with people. Furthermore, being exposed to dogs or cats from a very young age will strengthen their immune system, and thus reduce their chances of falling ill. A Swedish study, for example, reported that children below one year who grew up with dogs and cats have a healthy immune system and had no allergy issues or asthma, even though their family has the history of allergies and asthma. In conclusion, although owning a pet has a few negative impacts on children, I believe that there are more benefits as they teach children empathy and also boost their immunity.
Pet ownership has become common in recent years, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are fond of spending time with their loyal companions like dogs or cats. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that this has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on a child’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, others argue that it is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unhealthy and
they may spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases. This essay will discuss both points of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that having a pet is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones.

On the one hand, the primary reason for individuals to consider household animals as a threat is their aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
below five years do not know how to handle pet animals, and may provoke them by treating them roughly.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may beat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
or chew their ears. This causes a pet to become angry and attack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones.
Additionally
, household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
may spread diseases like allergies and food poisoning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they carry dirt which contains various bacteria, pathogens and virus.
However
, a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of parental supervision is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take care of these problems. Parents should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
alone with the pet. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to groom the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not carry pathogens.

On the other hand
, having a pet has various benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, caring for their furry friends, such as taking them for a walk, feeding them and grooming them teaches them to be responsible not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
towards other animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
,
being exposed
to dogs or cats from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age will strengthen their immune system, and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their chances of falling ill. A Swedish study,
for example
, reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
below one year who grew up with dogs and cats have a healthy immune system and had no allergy issues or asthma,
even though
their family has the history of allergies and asthma.

In conclusion
, although owning a pet has a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that there are more benefits as they teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
empathy and
also
boost their immunity.
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IELTS essay Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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