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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Having a satisfied job is considered more significant than its security. While some claim that securing a permanent profession and life long financial status is of utmost importance. In my opinion, I think that job contentment and sense of satisfaction play a key role in healthy and productive life. On the one hand, it is undeniable that having a job which assures lifetime flow of money and sense of security offers a peaceful and stress free life. People with permanent jobs do not have to worry about financial issues as they can secure their present and future. For example, permanent employees can recieve bank loans for doing huge investments and able to invest money to earn more. In addition, people who are away from the tension of searching fixed job and saving money, can easily concentrate on other aspects of life such as they can follow their passion. Some people love to enjoy their hobbies of music, sports or travel around the world. Therefore, while doing permanent job, people can enjoy their life and remain financially secured and satisfied. On the other hand, in each profession, job satisfaction and fulfillment is more crucial than just earning money and I agree. Firstly, satisfied job may often result a healthy mind in a healthy body. In other words, having pleasurable job may definitely leads to health benefits. As employees are happily doing their jobs with full commitment and enjoyment, may have less health problems such as heart diseases. As a result, they certainly have sound health and healthy life. Secondly, happy and content people may be more creative and innovative in ideas that really add in organization’sgrowth and productivity. Moreover, satisfied employees may also concentrate on their personal commitments and maintain better work life balance. To conclude, people may have varying opinions regarding importance of job security and permanent job. I believe that professional satisfaction is more important to lead a content life.
Having a satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is considered
more significant than its security. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that securing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
profession and
The adjective “lifelong” is spelled as one word.
life long
financial status is of utmost importance. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contentment and sense of satisfaction play a key role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and productive life.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which assures lifetime flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and sense of security offers a peaceful and
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
stress free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about financial issues as they can secure their present and future.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
employees can
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
bank loans for doing huge investments and able to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to earn more.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are away from the tension of searching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, can
easily
concentrate on other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as they can follow their passion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to enjoy their hobbies of music, sports or travel around the world.
Therefore
, while doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and remain
financially
secured and satisfied.

On the other hand
, in each profession,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and fulfillment is more crucial than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
result a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
mind in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body.
In other words
, having pleasurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may definitely
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
leads
to health benefits. As employees are
happily
doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with full commitment and enjoyment, may have less health problems such as heart diseases.
As a result
, they
certainly
have sound health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, happy and content
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be more creative and innovative in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that
really
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
add in
organization’
Possible spelling mistake found.
sgrowth
and productivity.
Moreover
, satisfied employees may
also
concentrate on their personal commitments and maintain better work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have varying opinions regarding importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I believe that professional satisfaction is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to lead a content
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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