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Some people think that it’s better to start a math’s club than a dance club at your school. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that it’s better to start a math’s club than a dance club at your school. with this opinion? BLOPa
Some people think that it’s better to start a math’s club than a dance club at your school. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Schools provide children with various types of extra curriculum education. Schools have clubs, that gives youths possibility to gain more skills. Having math and dance clubs are perfect idea but when it comes to choice, in my opinion, dance club is more beneficial than math club. To begin with, dancing have numerous benefits for adolescents, for example dance increases flexibility, gives the heart a good workout, refreshes body and mind which is necessary. Moreover, in 21st century the young generation suffers from lack of motivation and I believe that having dance club is the best way to promote healthy lifestyle. Besides, dance clubs are advantageous for personality development. In times when technology and social media took almost everyone’s time, dance is a great hobby where you can learn, enjoy and work out at the same time. From my personal experience, I think that good music and dancing is a great way to be in a happy state of mind. Furthermore, dance clubs also helps making friends and sharing emotions. Some people believe that education and one more math lesson would be fruitful. However, I strongly believe that physical and mental stability of young generation is far more imperative than a boring math lesson. To sum up, I strongly believe that dance is the best way to become healthy, fit, motivated, relaxed, self-confident and friendly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it’s better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
at your school. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree with this opinion?

Schools provide children with various types of extra curriculum education. Schools have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
, that gives youths possibility to gain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
are perfect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to choice, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
club.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, dancing have numerous benefits for adolescents,
for example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
increases flexibility, gives the heart a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
workout, refreshes body and mind which is necessary.
Moreover
, in 21st century the young generation suffers from lack of motivation and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
is the best way to promote healthy lifestyle.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
are advantageous for personality development. In times when technology and social media took almost everyone’s time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
is a great hobby where you can learn, enjoy and work out at the same time. From my personal experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
music and dancing is a great way to be in a happy state of mind.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clubs
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to make" or "make".
making
friends and sharing emotions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that education and one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
lesson would be fruitful.
However
, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that physical and mental stability of young generation is far more imperative than a boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
lesson.

To sum up, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
is the best way to become healthy, fit, motivated, relaxed, self-confident and friendly.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it’s better to start a math’s club than a dance club at your school. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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