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Some people think that it s important to follow traditions even if they are different from individuals interests Others believe that individuals preferences are more essential than traditions Which view do you agree with and why

Some people think that it s important to follow traditions even if they are different from individuals interests Others believe that individuals preferences are more essential than traditions Which view do you agree with and why BJW5j
There is no doubt that human beings live as a social animal for such a long history, which it has produced many diverse communities and cultures. Each culture has a well-known traditions and rules which dynamically transfer to next generation. There is a heated debate that if we should stick to our traditions or we do not have to follow them strictly. In my opinion, we should not oblige us to follow our traditions tightly. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will elaborate on them in following essay. First, many of these traditions do not have a logical reason behind them. Many of instructions and traditions are time-limited and they were practical and useful only for a specific time. If we want to follow them just because they have respected by our predecessors, without thinking and criticizing those traditions, we could not benefit and surely hurt our life. To put this in a more vivid picture, in our country, Iran, we have many unreasonable rules about marriage which destroy the relationship of boys and girls not only before the marriage bot after living together as well. Just as a few, boys should pay an enormous amount of money before marriage to his bride's family, that is not affordable for many of young adults. Then, if we have to follow these bad traditions, whole community will suffer in a long run. Second, many of those traditions were belong to old time and with this high-pace revolutionary changes in the world they are a bottle-neck in the process of development of countries. Thanks to technological advancement, people from all cross of the world connect so easily and fast. Their cultural insight and traditions could not keep this pace and works as an obstacle when they want to communicate. To have an efficient and productive communication, people should consider a bigger perspective with an open mind about their and other people traditions. As an example, I remember when I moved to Boston, as a new comer, I found that there is a massive difference between my traditions and cultural insight with this new American culture. To adopt this new lifestyle, I have no choice but to omit many of my cultural traditions included foods, customs, and ideas, to accept and being accepted in this new culture. As we can see, many of traditions can hurt intercultural communication if we stick to them. In sum, I strongly believe that we do not have to follow our traditions strictly. This is because many of those traditions are out of date and banned people to have a better life and because they are an important obstacle when people with different cultural backgrounds want to communicate with each other if we do not have an open mind.
There is no doubt that human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as a social animal for such a long history, which it has produced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diverse communities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has a well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which
dynamically
transfer to
next
generation. There is a heated debate that if we should stick to our
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traditions or
we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them
strictly
. In my opinion, we should not oblige us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
tightly
. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will elaborate on them in following essay.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
do not have a logical reason behind them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of instructions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time-limited and
they were practical and useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a specific time. If we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have respected by our predecessors, without thinking and criticizing those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, we could not benefit and
surely
hurt our life. To put this in a more vivid picture, in our country, Iran, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unreasonable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about marriage which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the relationship of boys and girls not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the marriage bot after living together
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as a few, boys should pay an enormous amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
marriage to his bride's family,
that is
not affordable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of young adults. Then, if we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, whole community will suffer in a long run.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
were
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
time and with this high-pace revolutionary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the world they are a bottle-neck in the process of development of countries. Thanks to technological advancement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all cross of the world connect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easily
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
insight and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this pace and works as an obstacle when they want to communicate. To have an efficient and productive communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consider a bigger perspective with an open mind about their and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. As an example, I remember when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Boston, as a
Did you mean "newcomer"?
new comer
, I found that there is a massive difference between my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
insight with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. To adopt this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lifestyle, I have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to omit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
included foods, customs, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, to accept and being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
can hurt intercultural communication if we stick to them.

In sum, I
strongly
believe that we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
strictly
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are out of date and banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a better life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
obstacle when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
backgrounds want to communicate with each other if we do not have an open mind.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it s important to follow traditions even if they are different from individuals interests Others believe that individuals preferences are more essential than traditions Which view do you agree with and why

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
464 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that it s important to follow traditions even if they are different from individuals interests Others believe that individuals preferences are more essential than traditions Which view do you agree with and why