Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that zoos are cruel so that they should be closed. However, some people hold the belief that these place are actually in terms of animal protection. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that zoos are cruel so that they should be closed. However, some people hold the belief that these place are actually in terms of animal protection. 2bP1o
A particular issue about zoos has raised quite a concern at home and abroad. Zoos are believed to be brutal and cruel for animals, while some people consider zoos are shelters to give animals protections. In my opinion, it is necessary to look at the inherent details on both sides and leading to a plausible conclusion. On the one hand, it is widely concerned that exhibiting animals is inhumanity because zoos might limit their liberty and narrow the space for activities. This can cause profound repercussions on these species, and contribute to some detrimental illnesses to animals. Additionally, caging wild animals eternity can gradually exploit their innate ability for hunting and survival. For example, for those animals which stay in zoos for a while, their extrinsic ability can gradually be wiped out, thus despite some of them might set free into wild habitats, wild can seem to be extremely unfamiliar and also drop their chance to survive when facing predators. On the other hand, the aforementioned beliefs can be opposed by some individuals. For one thing, zoos can not only serve as entertainment but also offer shelters for wild species. As some animals are injured that might be too severe to survive in the wild. Therefore, zoos can provide them with securities as well as a warm place to live. For instance, some organizations conduct expeditions to search for those injured species, which then take them back and offer medical health cares to expand their life expectancy. For another, those animals in zoos can provide precious information for scientists. Since zoos give protection for animals and endangered species, hence it is easier for scientists to do researches to pin down the reason for extinction as well as take a glance at these fascinating animals. In a nutshell, I consider that despite zoos are sometimes cruel to animals, with the rise of public awareness of these species, zoos have changed and can use for a kaleidoscope of purposes, ranging from providing securities for animals to scientific purposes.
A particular issue about zoos has raised quite a concern at home and abroad. Zoos
are believed
to be brutal and cruel for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider zoos are shelters to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
protections. In my opinion, it is necessary to look at the inherent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on both sides and leading to a plausible conclusion.

On the one hand, it is
widely
concerned that exhibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is inhumanity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
zoos might limit their liberty and narrow the space for activities. This can cause profound repercussions on these species, and contribute to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental illnesses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Additionally
, caging wild
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "animals'" or "animal's"?
animals
eternity can
gradually
exploit their innate ability for hunting and survival.
For example
, for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which stay in zoos for a while, their extrinsic ability can
gradually
be wiped
out,
thus
despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might set free into wild habitats, wild can seem to be
extremely
unfamiliar and
also
drop their chance to survive when facing predators.

On the other hand
, the aforementioned beliefs can
be opposed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals. For one thing, zoos can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serve as entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offer shelters for wild species.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are injured
that might be too severe to survive in the wild.
Therefore
, zoos can provide them with securities
as well
as a warm place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations conduct expeditions to search for those injured species, which then take them back and offer medical health cares to expand their life expectancy. For another, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos can provide precious information for scientists. Since zoos give protection for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and endangered species,
hence
it is easier for scientists to do researches to pin down the reason for extinction
as well
as take a glance at these fascinating animals.

In a nutshell, I consider that despite zoos are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cruel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, with the rise of public awareness of these species, zoos have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for a kaleidoscope of purposes, ranging from providing securities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to scientific purposes.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that zoos are cruel so that they should be closed. However, some people hold the belief that these place are actually in terms of animal protection.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people believe that zoos are cruel so that they should be closed. However, some people hold the belief that these place are actually in terms of animal protection. Discuss both views and give your opinion.