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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Governments decide arbitrary age for retirement. Numerous physically worn out and mentally exhausted is reasonable for retirement. Certain individuals should be exempted from pension, only those who truly deserve must be fairly benefited. Before, new economy manual laborers were not given distinctions. They have worked for ages still there hard-work doesn’t pay off. Elderly who are above age 65 are ready to retire on the contrary not everyone gets pension. Only certain national authority jobs provide pension schemes to their employees. The fairest action should be implemented by all the work offices. Therefore, valuable contribution of the workers should get ample respect. Those who are physically exhausted should be given a retirement notice as they will not be able to perform to level best nevertheless with promise of pension in order to secure their future. Finally, the ideal middle ground to provide pension should be on the basis of work type, an individual have done. The numbers of hours one have worked is another factor. A number of occupations which are tough and demanding for instance, coal miners, construction workers and welders and other positions which deal with a lot of stress in workplace should receive early retirement. For example, public safety practitioners, air traffic control operators are others as they ought to deal for public safety. In conclusion, particular age does not matter for retirement. As many occupation demand a lot of hard work, people lose their energy which leads to mental exhaustion at early 40s. The number of hours contributed should be a criterion for retirement not the age.
Governments
decide arbitrary
age
for
retirement
. Numerous
physically
worn out and mentally exhausted is reasonable for
retirement
. Certain individuals should
be exempted
from
pension
,
only
those who
truly
deserve
must
be
fairly
benefited.
Before
, new economy manual laborers were not
given
distinctions. They have worked for
ages
still
there
hard
-work doesn’t pay off. Elderly who are above
age
65 are ready to retire
on the contrary
not everyone
gets
pension
.
Only
certain national authority jobs provide
pension
schemes to their employees. The fairest action should
be implemented
by all the work offices.
Therefore
, valuable contribution of the workers should
get
ample respect. Those who are
physically
exhausted should be
given
a
retirement
notice as they will not be able to perform to level best
nevertheless
with promise of
pension
in order to secure their future.

Finally
, the ideal middle ground to provide
pension
should be on the basis of work type, an individual have done. The numbers of hours one have worked is another factor. A number of occupations which are tough and demanding
for instance
, coal miners, construction workers and welders and other positions which deal with
a lot of
stress
in workplace should receive early
retirement
.
For example
, public safety practitioners, air traffic control operators are others as they ought to deal for public safety.

In conclusion
, particular
age
does not matter for
retirement
. As
many
occupation demand
a lot of
hard
work,
people
lose their energy which leads to mental exhaustion at early 40s. The number of hours contributed should be a criterion for
retirement
not the
age
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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