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Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people. QxQx
There is a common belief among few people that the government should be spending more of the money on sports facilities for the top athelete whereas some argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. In my opinion the money should be equally utilised for the upliftment of ordinary people in terms of sports and the government must ensure it. First of all, more amount is being spent on the sports facilities for the top atheletes by government, some people has this opinion. The reason for this sort of situation would be that the government is concerned about the performance of top athelete in the upcoming sports events. For instance, atheletes must get the utmost sports essentials to ensure that they are up to the mark as due to lack of proper sports facilities atheletes has suffered in the recent event that took place a few months ago. Secondly, other people argue that it would be best if this money would be spent for the sports essentials for the ordinary people. The reason could be that the government is keen on ensuring that there should be greater involvement of common people in the sports in the near future. For example, due to more people expressing their interest on sports like as we have seen in recent season that there is much demand for well equipped sports equipments nowadays than it was before. To conclude, sports plays a crucial role to our nation's pride, so there must be greater indulgence of ordinary people in the game and government should ensure that they get the utmost sports essentials that are required.
There is a common belief among few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be spending more of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities for the top
Possible spelling mistake found.
athelete
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
equally
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure it.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, more amount is
being spent
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities for the top
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletes
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
this opinion. The reason for this sort of situation would be that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is concerned
about the performance of top
Possible spelling mistake found.
athelete
in the upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the utmost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
essentials to ensure that they are up to the mark as due to lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
Possible spelling mistake found.
atheletes
has suffered in the recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that took place a few months ago.

Secondly
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it would be best if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would
be spent
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
essentials for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The reason could be that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is keen on ensuring that there should be greater involvement of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the near future.
For example
, due to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
expressing their interest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in recent season that there is much demand for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipments nowadays than it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
plays a crucial role to our nation's pride,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be greater indulgence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the game and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should ensure that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the utmost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
essentials that
are required
.

IELTS essay Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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