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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. R9YM
Did you know that a numerous amount of teenagers spend their time doing community work for free. Community services are extremely significant in every society, it is when an individual volunteers to assist the society without being paid back. This essay will examine whether teenagers should do community work in their leisure time for free. Nevertheless, from my perspective I believe teenageres should. First and foremost, community work is vital for teenagers especially the ones who committed a crime. It gives them the chance to rehabilitate and learn from their previous mistake by giving back to the community what they took (commiting a crime). For instance, a teenager robbed a store instead of punishing the teen and taking them to jail preferably let them do community work as community work teaches them morals and values. Moreover, community work teaches teenagers how not to be greedy where they volunteer but don't receive profits from what they do. Furthermore, community work is vital because it takes these teenagers into the life of adulthood and responsibility where working is important. These community services will teach them how to do a specific task which could benefit these individuals in the future workplace. On the other hand, teenagers are too young to be thrown into the world of responsibilities considering the fact that sometimes these teenagers are required to spend extra time to do this community service which is extremely exhausting for such young people. For illustration, a teenager does community service and goes to school. It will be difficult to balance between those two activities since sometimes educational services overwork their students and community services might ask teenagers to work overtime. In conclusion, this essay discusses teenagers doing community services. For example, it teaches teens morals and values. However, some community services tend to over-work teens. THerefore, it is recommended to do community service to obtain more useful skills. Personally, I believe community work is important as it teaches teens sympathy from a young age also teenagers could obtain multiple skills.
Did you know that a numerous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "spends"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'spend' is not always incorrect.)
spend
their time doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for free.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are
extremely
significant in every society, it is when an individual volunteers to assist the society without
being paid
back. This essay will examine whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their leisure time for free.
Nevertheless
, from my perspective I believe
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "teenagers", the plural form of the noun 'teenager'?
teenageres
should.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
especially
the ones who committed a crime. It gives them the chance to rehabilitate and learn from their previous mistake by giving back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
what they took (
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
a crime).
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
robbed a store
instead
of punishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
and taking them to jail
preferably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
them morals and values.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
how not to be greedy where they volunteer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't receive profits from what they do.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it takes these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
into the life of adulthood and responsibility where working is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them how to do a specific task which could benefit these individuals in the future workplace.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are too young to
be thrown
into the world of responsibilities considering the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are required
to spend extra time to do this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
which is
extremely
exhausting for such young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. For illustration, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and goes to school. It will be difficult to balance between those two activities since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
overwork their students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
might ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime.

In conclusion
, this essay discusses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
For example
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
morals and values.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
tend to over-work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
THerefore
, it
is recommended
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
to obtain more useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Personally
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
sympathy from a young age
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
could obtain multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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