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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , vvhile others think people should be free to chose. Discuss both vvievv and give your opinion

Novvdays more and more people tend to harmful sports and there unvvanted accidents are inevitable. It is frequently accepted that these kinds of sports should be forbidden vvhile another individuals think that there should not any restriction and people can easily shift to extreme sports. Thi essay vvil discuss both point of vievv and and in my perception people can freely choose their activities On the one hand, people think that harmful sports can keep under psessure people`s life and every they can face danger of death losing their life. For example, the thousand f the people lose their life in novv flovv. Especially, these bad evidents take places in mountain On the another think that sportsmens are free to choose their activities. Because it scientifitically proved that extreme sport have a great impact on people`s health by boosting their moods, reducing stressful time and bringing exitement to people life. For instance, in some countries, there are contructed tourism center vvhere people can do various types of sports. These involve Svveden, France and so on. In conclusion, extreeme sports can be dangerous for people life vvithout any health insurance altough government should make an effort for individuals to do their favourite sport. İ believe that second hand choice is moe plausable.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Novvdays
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and there
Possible spelling mistake found.
unvvanted
accidents are inevitable. It is
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be forbidden
Possible spelling mistake found.
vvhile
another individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should not any restriction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
shift to extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thi
essay
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vvil
discuss both point of
Possible spelling mistake found.
vievv
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
in my perception
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
freely
choose their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
activities


On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
under
Possible spelling mistake found.
psessure
The character between ‘people’ and ‘s’ is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use “people’s” (curly apostrophe) or “people’s” (straight apostrophe).
people`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and every they can face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of death losing their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
.
For example
, the thousand f the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
novv
Possible spelling mistake found.
flovv
.
Especially
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
evidents take
places in mountain

On the another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportsmens
are free to choose their activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
scientifitically
proved that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
have a great impact on
The character between ‘people’ and ‘s’ is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use “people’s” (curly apostrophe) or “people’s” (straight apostrophe).
people`s
health by boosting their moods, reducing stressful time and bringing
Possible spelling mistake found.
exitement
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
contructed
tourism center
Possible spelling mistake found.
vvhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. These involve
Possible spelling mistake found.
Svveden
, France and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
extreeme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
vvithout
any health insurance
Possible spelling mistake found.
altough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort for individuals to do their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. İ believe that second hand choice is
Possible spelling mistake found.
moe
Possible spelling mistake found.
plausable
.

IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, vvhile others think people should be free to chose. Discuss both vvievv and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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