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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

It is true that some criminals commit crime again and again after they have been punished. While there are some alarming reasons for this trend, some effective measure can be taken by government to tackle with this situation. There are two main reason for this reoffending activity. Firstly, some criminal are locked up with other criminals and they make friends with other offenders. They got enough time for some physical activities and then criminal start communicate with each other and exchange information about a number of criminal activities done by them before entering into prison. Secondly, offenders often are poor, uneducated and low in skills, hence they start crime and face job difficulties. For instance, New York University recent done a research on criminals that indicates that about 80% of criminals are uneducated and low in skills, Consequently they start snatching, murder and a number of little crime for food and money. To solve this problem, government should do some measures to tackle this situation. In prison offenders should teach about some basic skills like computer, car mechanics and construction work so that whenever they release from prison can get job in these categories and avoid thinking to commit crime again. This may improve confidence level to socialized and communicate freely in society. Moreover, instead of putting them into prison let them do some social work, these activities eliminate their negativity among society and negative influence that prison can have. Due to this, society accept them and can get hired in well paid jobs. In conclusion, it is true that re-offenders are one of the major problem in society however it can be solved by forcing them into rehabilitation center rather than punished
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again and again after they have
been punished
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alarming reasons for this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measure can
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to tackle with this situation. There are two main reason for this
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean “criminals”?
criminal
are locked
up with other
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
criminals and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with other offenders. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
communicate with each other and exchange information about a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
done by them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Secondly
, offenders
The adverb ‘often’ usually goes after the verb ‘are’.
often are
poor, uneducated and low in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
hence
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and face job difficulties.
For instance
, New York University recent done
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “research”.
a research
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
that indicates that about 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are uneducated
and low in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
Consequently
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
snatching, murder and a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for food and money. To solve this problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to tackle this situation. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
offenders should teach about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like computer, car mechanics and construction work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that whenever they release from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job in these categories and avoid thinking to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
confidence level to socialized and communicate
freely
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
,
instead
of putting them into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social work, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
eliminate their negativity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
can have. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
accept them and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired in well paid jobs.
In conclusion
, it is true that re-offenders are one of the major problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
however
it can
be solved
by forcing them into rehabilitation center
rather
than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
punished
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IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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