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Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is thought by certain individuals that the sporting activities which have danger involved should be abandoned and I also endorse the aforementioned statement while others believe they should have the freedom to make their own choice. Both sides will be discussed in the essay below with the relevant examples. To begin with, some hold a view that ban should be imposed on the sports that are dangerous as when people try their hands on these activities, they might not be aware of the risk involved, hence, making themselves land in problems that might be harmful to their lives. For example, while performing scuba diving if the pressure below the sea-bed increases and the person is not able to withstand that then, he/she may fall for the situation of bends along with some respiratory issues. Moreover, there are times when all cautious measures are taken in order to avoid any mishappenings but uncertain circumstances such as bad weather or sudden currents in the water during a water-sport can bring worse conditions of breathlessness, increased heart rate and much more in the above cases. However, it is felt by few individuals that they should have the freedom to make a decision about the sporting activities that they want to perform as various personalities believe in trying things out of their zone of comfort and bestow themselves the chance to challenge themselves. For instance, one acquaintance of mine wished to fly in the hot air balloon from a slanted cliff of a mountain which was considered unsafe but he wanted to test himself and experience it. Furthermore, it is believed by a part of the population that these kinds of sports help in imbibe fearlessness in themselves, therefore, they should not be devoid to choose them, an example of it is my own getting away from the fear of height when I did paragliding. In a nutshell, In my and some people' viewpoint, the sporting activities that are dangerous should be stopped by banning them as they might be risky to the life of many individuals, nevertheless, others feel they should be free to make their own choice as they are the best evaluators of what they wish to try in their lives.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by certain individuals that the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
involved should be
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
abandoned and
I
also
endorse the aforementioned statement while others believe they should have the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice. Both sides will
be discussed
in the essay below with the relevant examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold a view that ban should
be imposed
on the sports that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try their hands on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they might not be aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved,
hence
, making themselves land in problems that might be harmful to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, while performing scuba diving if the pressure below the sea-bed increases and the person is not able to withstand that then, he/she may fall for the situation of bends along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
respiratory issues.
Moreover
, there are times when all cautious measures
are taken
in order to avoid any
Possible spelling mistake found.
mishappenings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
uncertain circumstances such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather or sudden currents in the water during a water-sport can bring worse conditions of breathlessness, increased heart rate and much more in the above cases.

However
, it
is felt
by few individuals that they should have the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision about the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that they want to perform as various personalities believe in trying things out of their zone of comfort and bestow themselves the chance to challenge themselves.
For instance
, one acquaintance of mine wished to
fly
in the hot air balloon from a slanted cliff of a mountain which
was considered
unsafe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
himself and experience it.
Furthermore
, it
is believed
by a part of the population that these kinds of sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in imbibe fearlessness in themselves,
therefore
, they should not be devoid to choose them, an example of it is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
getting away from the fear of height when I did paragliding.

In a nutshell, In my and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' viewpoint, the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by banning them as they might be risky to the life of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals,
nevertheless
, others feel they should be free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice as they are the best evaluators of what they wish to try in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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