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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

It is often argued that sportspersons make more income than people in other important jobs. While some think it is not fair, I believe it is justifiable as they train hard and are always away from their homes. In this essay, I would discuss both these views and state my points. To begin with, most of the successful sports professionals begin their training from a very young age and they have to train hard to compete with and excel in their skills. Moreover, sometimes they have to be away from their homes during these training years and playing days. For example, in China, children from the preschools are pushed into the sports by the government to make them get medals at the Olympics, these children may sometimes even forget their parents for the coaches. Additionally, a sportsman or sportswoman would be at peak for a few years and hence I believe, during this small span of their excellence, as well as, bringing glory to the country, hardworks for decades and living far away from their homes does guarantee them more money than other professionals. On the other hand, there are others like the health professionals, the teachers and the army men, who do work hard for the health, safety and building the young generation. Furthermore, these personals are available 24/7 to help the needy and are the most respectful jobs and recognize jobs in most of the countries. many people think that they should be given high income similar to sportspersons or even more than that, however, I think, they deserve a heavy paycheque but shouldn’t be given equal or more currencies than the athletes. For instance, a doctor can work for 50 years and earn whereas a sportsperson has just a few days or years to reap. to conclude all the professionals should be given their due respect, salaries and allowances as their constant hard work made them excel in the fields of practice. I believe the professionals in sports and games should be given more income as they train hard from birth and have a very short span of time to save money.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more income than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
jobs. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, I believe it is justifiable as they train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and are always away from their homes. In this essay, I would discuss both these views and state my points.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the successful sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their training from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to compete with and excel in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be away from their homes during these training years and playing days.
For example
, in China, children from the preschools
are pushed
into the sports by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medals at the Olympics, these children may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even forget their parents for the coaches.
Additionally
, a sportsman or sportswoman would be at peak for a few years and
hence
I believe, during this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
span of their excellence,
as well
as, bringing glory to the country,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardworks
for decades and living far away from their homes does guarantee them more money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professionals.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are others like the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, the teachers and the army
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, who do work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
for the health, safety and building the young generation.
Furthermore
, these personals are available 24/7 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the needy and are the most respectful jobs and recognize jobs in most of the countries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
high income similar to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
or even more than that,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, they deserve a heavy
Possible spelling mistake found.
paycheque
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
shouldn’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal or more currencies than the athletes.
For instance
, a doctor can work for 50 years and earn whereas a sportsperson has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few days or years to reap.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
conclude all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their due respect, salaries and allowances as their constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work made them excel in the fields of practice. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
in sports and games should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more income as they train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
from birth and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short span of time to save money.
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IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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