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Rich countries should not give jobs to the skilled workers (for example doctors and engineers) of poor countries as they are needed by their home country more than rich countries. How far do you agree or disagree with the statements given?

It is an undeniable that people tend to migrate to industrialized nations for better employment opportunities. It is also true that this phenomenon hinders the progress of their own nation in many ways. For example, it affects the availability of skilled manpower in their motherland. The issue of brain drain has always been of paramount importance. People tend to move to the developed countries for getting a handsome salary that justifies the amount of hard work they did to earn their degrees. Actually, this prospect of settling abroad lures many students to work harder at university. For example, medical education is highly expensive and requires a great deal of hard work. If a medical student is convinced that upon completing her education she can find a lucrative job in a foreign country she will be more encouraged to put in all those efforts required to be a doctor. Moreover, when skilled professionals migrate to a developed country they will get to further enhance their skills because of the opportunity to work with some of the best minds in the world. On the other hand, it cannot be denied that brain drain affects the quality of living in poor countries. For example, many doctors of Indian origin have moved to developed countries like the US and the UK. As a result, there is a dearth of qualified medical professionals in the country. This hurts the Indian health sector and puts the lives of many people at risk. To conclude, there is no denying the fact the migration of skilled human resources to developed countries hurt the overall progress of their mother country. Even so, in my opinion, people should have the right to decide where they want to work and live. Actually, developing countries can discourage this practice by providing better opportunities in their country.
It is an undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to migrate to industrialized nations for better employment opportunities. It is
also
true that this phenomenon hinders the progress of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For example
, it affects the availability of skilled manpower in their motherland.

The issue of brain drain has always been of paramount importance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for getting a handsome salary that justifies the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they did to earn their degrees. Actually, this prospect of settling abroad lures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder at university.
For example
, medical education is
highly
expensive and requires a great deal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
a medical student
is convinced
that upon completing her education she can find a lucrative job in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
she will be more encouraged to put in all those efforts required to be a doctor.
Moreover
, when skilled professionals migrate to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
further
enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best minds in the world.

On the other hand
, it cannot
be denied
that brain drain affects the quality of living in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors of Indian origin have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the US and the UK.
As a result
, there is a dearth of qualified medical professionals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This hurts the Indian health sector and puts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

To conclude
, there is no denying the fact the migration of skilled human resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
hurt the
overall
progress of their mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the right to decide where they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Actually, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can discourage this practice by providing better opportunities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Rich countries should not give jobs to the skilled workers (for example doctors and engineers) of poor countries as they are needed by their home country more than rich countries. How far given?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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