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Some people think that children should obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that children should obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your own opinion Q3r9
Nowadays, many children are asked to follow rules and listen to the guidance given by their parents and teachers. Although it is reasonable foe adults to educate children, I believe that strict control will make children have difficulty being independent adults in the future. Some people argue that children should obey what their parents and teachers teach them so that they can avoid bad habits. Many children have poor self-discipline abilities. Therefore, if adults do not control them, they are likely to do whatever they want to do. For example, without any control, children may spend all their time on video games, which is not only physically detrimental to them but also causes some mental illnesses. In contrast, children who have limited time to play electronic games can devote more time to do outdoor activities, and their lives would be much more colorful. On the other hand, opponents believe that children who have limited freedom cannot solve problems by themselves in adulthood. There are no needs for these children to consider what they want to do because their daily lives have been organized by their supervisors. What they need to do is to follow their time tables strictly. However, no one will offer them such timetables any longer when they enter the workforce. Without the guidance of their parents and teachers, they may fail to do any jobs because they have not finished any tasks planned by themselves before. In my view, children should be under proper control, which not only allows children to solve problems n their own but also prevents them learning something harmful. Proper control means that children are only required to obey some fundamental rules. For example, children can solve math problems using their own methods rather than the methods given by their teachers if they do not copy the answers of others. Therefore, they are motivated to cope with problems by employing their own ideas so that they are more likely to be independent people in the future. In conclusion, I think children should be imposed on proper regulations so that they can possess both beneficial habits and abilities of solving problems.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are asked
to follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and listen to the guidance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Although it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a reasonable" or "is an reasonable"
is reasonable
foe adults to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have difficulty being independent adults in the future.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should obey what their parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have poor self-discipline abilities.
Therefore
, if adults do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
them, they are likely to do whatever they want to do.
For example
, without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may spend all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on video games, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
detrimental to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental illnesses.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play electronic games can devote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do outdoor activities, and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would be much more colorful.

On the other hand
, opponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have limited freedom cannot solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by themselves in adulthood. There are no needs for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to consider what they want to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
been organized
by their supervisors. What they need to do is to follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
tables
strictly
.
However
, no one will offer them such timetables any longer when they enter the workforce. Without the guidance of their parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, they may fail to do any jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have not finished any tasks planned by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be under proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
n their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them learning something harmful. Proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
required to obey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can solve math
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
methods
rather
than the methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
if they do not copy the answers of others.
Therefore
, they
are motivated
to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by employing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are more likely to be independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the future.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be imposed
on proper regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can possess both beneficial habits and abilities of solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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