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Some people think that a sense of competition on children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Some people think that a sense of competition on children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults. kPmW
People have different views whereas the children should be taught to be competitive or co-operative. While a sense of competition can sometimes be useful in life, I believe that co-operative is far more important. On the one hand, competition can be a great source motivation for children. When teachers use games and prizes to introduce the element of competitiveness into lesson, it will encourage students to try hard to compete other students in class. This kind of healthy rivalry may help to build children’s self-confidence, while pushing them to work independently and progress quickly, when these children leave the school their self-confidence and determination will help them competitive situations such as job interviews. It can therefore be argued that competition should be encouraged in order to prepare children for adult life. On the other hand, perhaps it is more important to prepare children for many aspects of adult life that require co-operation. In the workplace, adults are expected to work in teams, follow instructions given by their superiors, or supervise and support the more junior members of staff. Team collaboration skills are much more useful than a competitive determination to win. This is the attitude that I believe schools should foster in young people. Instead of promoting the idea that people are either winner or loser, teachers could shoe children that they gain more from working together. In conclusion, I can understand that why people might want to encourage competitiveness in children, but it seems to me that a co-operative attitude is much more desirable in adult life.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
to be competitive or co-operative. While a sense of competition can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be useful in life, I believe that co-operative is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, competition can be a great source motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
games and prizes to introduce the element of competitiveness into lesson, it will encourage students to try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to compete other students in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This kind of healthy rivalry may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
self-confidence, while pushing them to work
independently
and progress
quickly
, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the school their self-confidence and determination will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them competitive situations such as job interviews. It can
therefore
be argued
that competition should
be encouraged
in order to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for adult life.

On the other hand
, perhaps it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of adult life that require co-operation. In the workplace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work in teams, follow instructions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their superiors, or supervise and support the more junior members of staff. Team collaboration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are much more useful than a competitive determination to win. This is the attitude that I believe schools should foster in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Instead
of promoting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are either winner or loser, teachers could shoe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they gain more from working together.

In conclusion
, I can understand that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might want to encourage competitiveness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to me that a co-operative attitude is much more desirable in adult life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition on children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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