Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Others, however, believe that job security is more important.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Others, however, believe that job security is more important. Ajar1
How to choose a job has been a headache to many people in contemporary society. It is argued that a high salary is the main factor in choosing a job, while others thinks that job security is more important. In my perspective, both arguments are reasonable. There are certainly some reasons why a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. One of the reasons is that employees and workers can gain more money from business activities. By simply choosing a high payment job, employees and workers are able to sustain their lives in metropolis because the cost of living is high. Another reason is that people can improve their quality of lives. With more disposable income in their hands, local people are more satisfied with their lives because they can purchase many branded products and goods to meet their social status. As a result, people who choose a job with a high wages will have more happiness. It is true that high income is important but job security can bring you long-term sustainability and relationship between employers and workers. Having good relationship with employers, worker’s annual salary might be increased and be provided with some benefits, such as a free laptop. Apart from this, people can significantly improve themselves. As working at listed company for years, for example, workers can learn many useful practical skills such as negotiating and computer skills which allow workers progress more quickly. Consequently, job security allows people to improve themselves and have good relationship with colleagues. In conclusion, although high salary is the major factor in choosing a job, I still think that job security is more important because it brings a lot of benefits for employees and have good relationships ensure that employees have good relationship with each other.
How to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has been a headache to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in contemporary society. It
is argued
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the main factor in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. In my perspective, both arguments are reasonable.

There are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. One of the reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can gain more money from business activities. By
simply
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
payment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are able to sustain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in metropolis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the cost of living is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. With more disposable income in their hands, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
branded products and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their social status.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages will have more happiness.

It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
can bring you long-term sustainability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
between employers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with employers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker’s
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
might
be increased
and
be provided
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, such as a free laptop. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves. As working at listed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for years,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as negotiating and computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
progress more
quickly
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with colleagues.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the major factor in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with each other.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Others, however, believe that job security is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Others, however, believe that job security is more important.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.