Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people tend to believe that the wild animals and birds need extra attention and people should protect them

Some people tend to believe that the wild animals and birds need extra attention and people should protect them kYjjO
Some people tend to believe that the wild animals and birds need extra attention and people should protect them. Moreover we should prepare many facilities and resources to protect them particularly in these decades. In this essay, this issue will be discussed. It is certainly obvious a lot of species of animals are on the brink of extinction and most of people all over the world do not pay attention to this issue. Moreover, we are not able to see many kinds of animals in the woods at this time such as some mammals. A recent study in Stanford University indicates more than 60 percent of animals species will die till 2050. Hence, human beings should pay attention the animals. To tackle this problems, the governments should restricte hunting and create a wide range of laws for predators who disobey the law firstly. By obey this kind of laws we can decrease the statistics of murdering of animals and birds. Secondly, if the animals extinct, the life cycle face various problems. For instance, if a wild cat die, the animals which eat these kinds of cat as food will be die and it will continue for ever and it impact human beings and impress the life of them because we utilize some kinds of these animals or birds as food or cloths. The charities are able to help this situation. They can create a global organization all over the world and invite volunteer to help the animals in protected environments and it can lead to diminishing the dangerous of extinction. However, it needs to spend a lot of money to protect them such as expenditure of vaccination. Finally, in spite of the fact that protect the animals need a bunch of money, the animals should be protected and people can do it by volunteers all over the word to reduce the expenditures. Personally, I am keen on animals and birds and from my point of view, we should be aware of the animals’s situation and support them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to believe that the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds need extra attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
we should prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities and resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
them
particularly
in these decades. In this essay, this issue will
be discussed
.

It is
certainly
obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the brink of extinction and most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world do not pay attention to this issue.
Moreover
, we are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the woods at this time such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mammals. A recent study in Stanford University indicates more than 60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
species will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
till 2050.
Hence
, human beings should pay attention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To tackle
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
restricte
hunting and create a wide range of laws for predators who disobey the law
firstly
. By obey this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of laws we can decrease the statistics of murdering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds.

Secondly
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
extinct, the life cycle face various problems.
For instance
, if a wild cat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which eat these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of cat as food will be
Consider using a past participle here: "died".
die
and it will continue for ever and it
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
human beings and impress the life of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we utilize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or birds as food or cloths. The charities are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this situation. They can create a global organization all over the world and invite volunteer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in protected environments and it can lead to diminishing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
of extinction.
However
, it needs to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
them such as expenditure of vaccination.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
need a bunch of money, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be protected
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do it by volunteers
Did you mean "all over the world" (=globally)?
all over the word
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the expenditures.
Personally
, I am keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds and from my point of view, we should be aware of the
Did you mean "animal’s" or "animals’"?
animals’s
situation and support them.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people tend to believe that the wild animals and birds need extra attention and people should protect them

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people tend to believe that the wild animals and birds need extra attention and people should protect them