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some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthdays weddings, while others think it is waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthdays weddings, while others think it is waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion pRylD
Some people believe that spending money for family parties like birthdays, weddings and other special occasions is necessary, while others think differently that is outlaying of money. In my opinion, it will be better if they will spend money to other benefits. Now people spend much money for parties such as birthdays. It is clear that when you happy you want to share this happiness with others, and also organize luxurious event. Likewise never forget this day. And others just organize some kind of holidays without a special occasion, they just want to spend money. They could have spend to charities As we say before people spend money, not thinking about other people who need it. Throughout the world there are many countries especially Africa, where people suffer starvation, less access to water, or less accomodations. It will be better, if they be humble and economize money, afterwards invest money in charities and help needy. For instane: they can help by educating them, developing agriculture, or bringing new technology and teach them. How we mentioned before, it is good wasting money for family, however it will be better invest part of the money on charities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for family parties like birthdays, weddings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
special occasions is necessary, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
that is
outlaying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my opinion, it will be better if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
benefits.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for parties such as birthdays. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that when
Did you mean "you are"?
you
happy you want to share this happiness with others, and
also
organize luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
never forget this day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
And others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of holidays without a special occasion, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They could have
Use past participle here: "spent".
spend
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
charities


As we say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, not thinking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need it. Throughout the world there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
especially
Africa, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer starvation, less access to water, or less
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodations
. It will be better, if they be humble and economize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, afterwards invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in charities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
needy. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
instane
: they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by educating them, developing agriculture, or bringing new technology and teach them.

How we mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for family,
however
it will be better invest part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on charities
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IELTS essay some people think it is important spending a lot of money on family celebrations such as birthdays weddings, while others think it is waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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