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Some people think a sport is the only solution to improve public health. However ,others disagree and think there are other solutions as well. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think a sport is the only solution to improve public health. However, others disagree and think there are other solutions as well. VQDOA
People have different views about improving public health. While some people believe that sport which is the main solution to it, I and others think that there are other important ways to stay healthy such as consume nutritious products and getting enough sleep. Sport plays a integral role in our development of health, and it has beneficial effects to both mental and physical health. Many studies have already found out a direct link between sport and better heath, so that it may seems important that government should encourage public to participate in sport in order to grow up healthy. Therefore, this is the main reason why school always try to add sport subjects to their timetables as well as to set up various sports competitions. However, others might argue that there are three main factors that we should pay attention them in order to help public to improve their health and I too agree this view. Firstly, people should care about their eating habits. When people want to build up their health, they are getting used to consume healthy meals and products such as fresh fruits or vegetables, and they have to avoid eat fast foods. Secondly, it is beneficial that needs to teach them to get enough quality sleep. Almost all people are addictive to invest in much time to their works or studies. as a result, they tend to ignore a hour of sleep, and this statement is more likely to shape negatively their health. Finally, one of the best factor of improving of public health is living in a clean atmosphere. As we are dwelling in a polluted environment, it might take a toll on our health, so we need to learn ways how to protect our environment. In conclusion, if people who want to improve their health, they not only do take consideration to take up a sport, but they also have to do other types of vital factors like sleep enough, have a proper diet and live in a clean environment.
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People
have
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different
views about improving
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public
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health
. While
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some
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people
believe that
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sport
which is the main solution to it, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ways to stay healthy such as consume nutritious products and getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sleep.

Sport plays
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
integral role in our development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and it has beneficial effects to both mental and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies have already found out a direct link between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and better heath,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "seem"
seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in order to grow up healthy.
Therefore
, this is the main reason why school always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
subjects to their timetables
as well
as to set up various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions.

However
, others might argue that there are three main factors that we should pay attention them in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and I too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this view.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should care about their eating habits. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to build up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, they are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to consume healthy meals and products such as fresh fruits or vegetables, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
avoid eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods.
Secondly
, it is beneficial that needs to teach them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
quality sleep. Almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addictive to invest in much time to their works or studies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
a result, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
hour of sleep, and this statement is more likely to shape
negatively
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Finally
, one of the best factor of improving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is living in a clean atmosphere. As we are dwelling in a polluted environment, it might take a toll on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we need to learn ways how to protect our environment.

In conclusion
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do take consideration to take up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of vital factors like sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, have a proper diet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a clean environment.
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IELTS essay Some people think a sport is the only solution to improve public health. However, others disagree and think there are other solutions as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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