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Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful, while others disagree. What is your opinion? 3qeY
There is an argument between viewers that advertisingthrough television is beneficial, whilst some people do not agree with thisnotion. Nevertheless, I firmly stand by the former argument that TVadvertisements are useful to audiences.  Television advertisements are beneficial as it reaches awide range of TV watchers and through this, more people are quickly informed ina short span of time. Moreover, viewers have easy access to learn more abouta particular product. As such, cigarette smoking has several advertisements, also along with it is a warning for the viewers on how dangerous smoking can beto the body’s health. This assists in the watcher’s perspective and their decisionwhether to purchase the product or not.  Furthermore, TV advertisements do not only use to promote a product but also serves as an avenue for the government to introduce itsvarious programs to society. Information dissemination of these programshas been helpful to easily educate the viewers. For example, the importance ofroutine immunization is being televised to give information on the proveneffects of the vaccines. It also encourages the viewers to participate in thevaccination programs offered by the government. This helps keep the babyhealthy and protected from the different vaccine prevented diseases.  In conclusion, though there are arguments aboutadvertising through television, I still fully support the idea that TVadvertisements are useful. It helps the businesses in promoting their productsand it also provides assistance to the government in launching its programswhich are all beneficial to the viewers.
There is an argument between
viewers
that
advertisingthrough
television is beneficial, whilst
some
people
do not
agree
with
thisnotion
.
Nevertheless
, I
firmly
stand by the former argument that
TVadvertisements
are useful to audiences.  Television advertisements are beneficial as it reaches
awide
range of TV watchers and through this, more
people
are
quickly
informed
ina
short span of time.
Moreover
,
viewers
have easy access to learn more
abouta
particular product. As such, cigarette smoking has several advertisements,
also
along with it is a warning for the
viewers
on how
dangerous
smoking can
beto
the body’s health. This assists in the watcher’s perspective and their
decisionwhether
to
purchase
the product or not.  
Furthermore
, TV advertisements do not
only
use to
promote a product
but
also
serves as an avenue for the
government
to introduce
itsvarious
programs to society. Information dissemination of these
programshas
been helpful to
easily
educate the
viewers
.
For example
, the importance
ofroutine
immunization is
being televised
to give information on the
proveneffects
of the vaccines. It
also
encourages the
viewers
to participate in
thevaccination
programs offered by the
government
. This
helps
keep
the
babyhealthy
and protected from the
different
vaccine
prevented
diseases.  
In conclusion
, though there are arguments
aboutadvertising
through television, I
still
fully
support the
idea
that
TVadvertisements
are useful. It
helps
the businesses in promoting their
productsand
it
also
provides assistance to the
government
in launching its
programswhich
are all beneficial to the
viewers
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that TV advertisements are helpful, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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