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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. pRaB3
It is argued that more and more sports facilites are the viable way to improve public health. While others believe that these facilitates would not as effective as other imperative measures are required. Although sports clubs play a vital role in people's health only at certain levels, governments can address the public health by introducing medical facilities at a lower cost. This essay agrees with the former view. The sport is play an essential role in humans' health. It improves muscles strengthen and stimulates blood circulation. However, sports do not give any impact on perilous diseases, which many people are suffering from these diseases, due to various reasons. These types of diseases can not be avert by organizing sports clubs. Therefore this essay demurs that sports the best option to improve public health. For instance, one study found that more than 70 percentage of the total population is consume alcohol which cause humans' liver damage, which is unreplaceable organ of the human body. Nowadays, medical expenses are costly than ever before. Many people avoid to do medical checkup due to the high prices. As a result, more and more people suffer from many health problems. Providing medical insurance definitely improve public health and allow them to follow up healthy diet chart. Hence, this essay hold that other the reduction in the cost of medical facilities is the best way to improve public health. For instance, in many countries, such as in the United States, people have blood pressure problem. To conclude, sports facilities certainly play an important role in public health but only at some level, giving medical insurance at the lower cost improve public health.
It
is argued
that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilites
are the viable way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others believe that
The verb 'facilitates' is singular. Did you mean: "This facilitates" or "these facilitate"?
these facilitates
would not as effective as other imperative measures
are required
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs play a vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at certain levels,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities at a lower cost. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the former view.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is play an essential role in humans'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improves
muscles strengthen and stimulates blood circulation.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
do not give any impact on perilous diseases, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from these diseases, due to various reasons. These types of diseases can not be
Consider using a past participle here: "averted".
avert
by organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
this essay demurs that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
the best option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, one study found that more than 70 percentage of the total population is
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
alcohol which cause humans' liver damage, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unreplaceable
organ of the human body.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
expenses are
Use "costlier" to make a comparison with this adjective.
costly
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid doing".
avoid to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
checkup due to the high prices.
As a result
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. Providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
insurance definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to follow up healthy diet chart.
Hence
, this essay hold that other the reduction in the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health.

For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, such as in the United States,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have blood pressure problem.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
certainly
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
level, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
insurance at the lower cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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