Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. 9PG0
Both governments and people attempt to develop public health and make the environment better. To provide that they do plenty of activities, challenges, even they sometimes give prizes to those who make their environment much better and secute place. A number of people think that increasing the sports facilities can help our public health a lot. They argue that is the best alternative. I reckon that is a good idea, by raising the number of sports facilities, we can mame both givernment health and public health. For instance, to plant more trees, open new parks, organizing running, cycling marathons and try to attract as many people as possible. I am sure it would make the public more healthy. On the other hand, according to some people it would have a few effects on public health and we need to measures other required as wel. In my opinion, we should not only focusing sports facilities, but also try to encourage people to take heart and to do something for their environment. Such as, making seminars about air-pollution, In this case by giving industrial city examples would be best. Let them know how drugs, smoking and drinking are destroy our life and take us to the death as soon as possible. In a word the government as well as the in charge of organizations should do new activities to renewed people's interests and enthusiasm. To recapitate, the countries do their best to mame their governments safe however it sometimes is not enough. In other words, every countries ought to do more to make both our world and environment safety. Teh more we try, the safer our public health will become.
Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attempt to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
better. To provide that they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of activities, challenges, even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
give prizes to those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
much better and
Possible spelling mistake found.
secute
place.

A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing the sports facilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
a lot. They argue
that is
the best alternative. I reckon
that is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, by raising the number of sports facilities, we can
Possible spelling mistake found.
mame
both
Possible spelling mistake found.
givernment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, to plant more trees, open new parks, organizing running, cycling marathons and try to attract as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as possible. I am sure it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
more healthy.

On the other hand
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it would have a few effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
we need to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "measure".
measures
other required as
Possible spelling mistake found.
wel
. In my opinion, we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The verb 'should' requires base form of the verb: "focus"
focusing
sports facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
try to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take heart and to do something for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Such as, making seminars about air-pollution,
In this case
by giving industrial city examples would be best.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
them know how drugs, smoking and drinking are
Consider using a past participle here: "destroyed".
destroy
our life and take us to the death as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In a word the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as the in charge of organizations should do new activities to renewed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interests and enthusiasm.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
recapitate
, the countries do their best to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mame
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
safe
however
it
The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put after the verb 'is'.
sometimes is
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
In other words
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
ought to do more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
both our world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
safety.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Teh
more we try, the safer our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will become.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.