Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, while others think this is not the responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people say that schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, while others think this is not the responsibility of schools. with the statement? DJVk
In recent times, people are struggling to chose whether maintaining adolescent fitness should be illustrate at school or not. I completely agree that this subject must be known for us before continuing the next step of life. The primary reason why is because the place where students spend most of their time is school. It means that students have less time to study about how crucial to protect healthiness. Some of them can also do not obtain the lesson. In spite of the fact that half of their day is spent at school, yet the subjects are not accepted fully. Therefore, school must take in charge to teach teenager on how to keep their body fit. Long-period investment is another reason why look after you own health is vital for your life. We have already became a student in school since we were toddler and the more time you maintain your health the greater investment for your body. Moreover, early education on look for our health provides more positive impact than being late to understand this problem and school must be responsible to take a good care to build a good lifestyle for young adult. All in all, there are two different view discussing if school must teach their student to take care of their health or this is not school’s responsibility at all. However, I support the statement that say school should share information regarding our health because school take a big role in teaching teenagers in all aspect.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are struggling to chose whether maintaining adolescent fitness should be
Consider using the past participle "illustrated"?
illustrate
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or not. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be known
for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
continuing the
next
step of life.

The primary reason why is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study about how crucial to protect healthiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them can
also
do not obtain the lesson.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that half of their day
is spent
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
yet
the subjects are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
fully
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take in charge to teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body fit.

Long-period investment is another reason why look after you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is vital for your life. We have already
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "become".
became
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
since we were toddler and the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you maintain your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
the greater investment for your body.
Moreover
, early education on look for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
provides more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact than being late to understand this problem and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be responsible to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care to build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle for young adult.

All in all, there are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view discussing if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
or this is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
responsibility at all.
However
, I support the statement that say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should share information regarding our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in all aspect.

IELTS essay Some people say that schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, while others think this is not the responsibility of schools. with the statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people say that schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, while others think this is not the responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?