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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own.

Engaging children in multiple activities is vital for the growth of their minds and physical health. People think that parents should motivate them for participating in group activities which are organized by their school after studies, whereas others think youngsters should engage themselves in other activities by their personal willingness. I believe that children who are encouraged by their parents are far better than those who engage themselves on their own. Studies made children angry sometimes because they are following the same routine on a daily basis. For the study, they need to sit alone open their books and complete their assignments as a result of this an anxiety came into their mind. To overcome that factor parents are the true friend of the children who actually know that which activities are good and which activities are bad for the children as well as in there are other who can look after the performance of a child and make it correct during these activities as these are organized. On the other hand, early risers are innocent they don't know what is good and what is bad for them if they occupy themselves on their own they can be engaged themselves in an activity that is bad for them For Instance: They can watch adult movies, They can smoke or they can be involved in any criminal activities because no one is there to educate them this is bad for you and also they don't have the fear that someone is monitoring them. In my opinion, it will be good to involve children in organized group activities as compare to leave it that on themselves because the children should have the fear of monitoring so that they can not get involved themselves in bad activities which leads to destroying their future.
Engaging
children
in multiple
activities
is vital for the growth of their minds and physical health.
People
think
that parents should motivate them for participating in group
activities
which
are organized
by their school after studies, whereas others
think
youngsters should engage themselves in
other
activities
by their personal willingness. I believe that
children
who
are encouraged
by their parents are far better than those
who
engage themselves on their
own
.

Studies made
children
angry
sometimes
because
they are following the same routine on a daily basis. For the study, they need to sit alone open their books and complete their assignments
as a result
of this an anxiety came into their mind. To overcome that factor parents are the true friend of the
children
who
actually know that which
activities
are
good
and which
activities
are
bad
for the
children
as well
as in there are
other
who
can look after the performance of a child and
make
it correct during these
activities
as these
are organized
.

On the
other
hand, early risers are innocent they don't know what is
good
and what is
bad
for them if they occupy themselves on their
own
they can
be engaged
themselves in an
activity
that is
bad
for them
For Instance
: They can
watch
adult movies, They can
smoke or
they can
be involved
in any criminal
activities
because
no one is there to educate them this is
bad
for you and
also
they don't have the fear that someone is monitoring them.

In my opinion, it will be
good
to involve
children
in organized group
activities
as compare to
leave
it that on themselves
because
the
children
should have the fear of monitoring
so
that they can not
get
involved themselves in
bad
activities
which leads to destroying their future.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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