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In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is believed by some people that male politicians are responsible for aggression and constant tensions between countries and women should be in leadership positions instead. From my point of view, I am completely disagree with this notion and my explanations are to be expressed in this essay. To commence with, it is absurd to say that feminine leadership model is to make the world more peaceful. In fact, history reveals that female leaders could also make bellicose decisions that men do in the face of oppressive conditions and provocative actions. A case in this point is Queen Victoria, after having become Queen of the United Kingdom, also invaded India, China, and many countries in close succession. Consequently, the gender issue is absolutely not the reason behind world conflicts. In addition, I believe that male cannot be replaced by female in political environment due to some reasons. First, men possess more tremendous presentation skills. As men are innately stronger and more aggressive, they can deliver their speeches more convincing and powerful with the eloquent manner to their listeners. Second, they are less affected by emotions. In fact, scientists believe that male’s emotional cortex is less active, therefore they are hardwired to mental stability, leading to the ability to make more rational decisions. Last but not least, men’s physical capacity for stress endurance help them attain great success in leadership roles. In other words, when encountering prolonged and challenging situations requiring equally persistent cognitive clarity, men would cope with them easily. In conclusion, I think the idea that women hold the key to world peace is intuitive. Also, I reckon that the role of leadership should be more suitable for men as they are of great presentation abilities, more logical at decision making and more resilient in dealing with high and long tension. 37. In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that male politicians are responsible for aggression and constant tensions between countries and women should be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
positions
instead
. From my point of view, I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this notion and my explanations are to
be expressed
in this essay.

To commence with, it is absurd to say that feminine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
model is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more peaceful. In fact, history reveals that female leaders could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bellicose decisions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
do in the face of oppressive conditions and provocative actions. A case in this point is Queen Victoria, after having become Queen of the United Kingdom,
also
invaded India, China, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in close succession.
Consequently
, the gender issue is
absolutely
not the reason behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
conflicts.

In addition
, I believe that male cannot
be replaced
by female in political environment due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
possess more tremendous presentation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
innately
stronger and more aggressive, they can deliver their speeches more convincing and powerful with the eloquent manner to their listeners. Second, they are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by emotions. In fact, scientists believe that male’s emotional cortex is less active,
therefore
they
are hardwired
to mental stability, leading to the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more rational decisions. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
physical capacity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
endurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them attain great success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
roles.
In other words
, when encountering prolonged and challenging situations requiring
equally
persistent cognitive clarity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
would cope with them
easily
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that women hold the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace is intuitive.
Also
, I reckon that the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
should be more suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
as they are of great presentation abilities, more logical at
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and more resilient in dealing with high and long tension. 37. In the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
would be better governed and more peaceful if it
was ruled
by women. To what extent do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree.
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IELTS essay In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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