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Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. MXxa
Human development is a complex interplay of many factors. Some individuals are of the opinion that parents have the most significant role in a child’s development whereas others opine that friends and other environmental factors such as TV have a more important role. It is necessary to look at both arguments before forming an opinion. Parents have direct interactions with the children. They provide a sense of identification to the child. These have their greatest effect on intellectual development and character traits. They also play a very important role in the socializing process of the child. Right from the bed time stories to the behavioral habits parents play a very important role in making a child a responsible citizen. They know their child’s temperament better than anyone else. They can provide critical input better than anyone else. That is why it is believed by some that parents have the strongest role in a child’s development. Friends, on the other hand, are important in order to help children grow emotionally and socially. Children find out who they are by comparing themselves to others. They learn about attitude, character and personality. Building good relationships boosts a child’s self esteem and they find comfort in those friendships when things get tough such as losing a pet or facing family problems. Therefore, friendships are essential to assure children develop a healthy psyche. When kids are surrounded by friends or have one close friend, they have better self esteem, feel a sense of well being and experience fewer social problems. Television is also one of the most prevalent media influences in kids' lives. How much impact TV has on children depends on many factors: how much they watch, their age and personality, whether they watch alone or with adults, and whether their parents talk with them about what they see on TV. In my opinion, we cannot generalize as to what has more significance. In the early years family generally has more impact but in adolescence peers and TV may impact more. It appears that the power of the peer group becomes more important when the family relationships are not close or supportive. For example, if the parents work extra jobs and are largely unavailable, their children may turn to their peer group for emotional support. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that behavior is affected by a complex interaction of many different factors such as parents, peers and environment. All these are inextricably linked in the development of children. There is individual variation and therefore it is difficult to generalize which factor plays the most significant role.
Human
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development
is a complex interplay of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the

opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in a
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child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
whereas others

opine that friends and other environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as TV have a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role.

It is necessary to look at both arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming an opinion.

Parents have direct interactions with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They provide a sense of identification to

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. These have their greatest effect on intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and character traits.

They
also
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the socializing process of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Right from the

bed time stories to the behavioral habits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in making a child

a responsible citizen. They know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
temperament better than anyone else. They

can provide critical input better than anyone else.
That is
why it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that

parents have the strongest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
development.

Friends,
on the other hand
, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow
emotionally
and

socially
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
find out who they are by comparing themselves to others. They learn

about attitude, character and personality. Building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships boosts a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
and they find comfort in those friendships when things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tough such as losing a

pet or facing family problems.
Therefore
, friendships are essential to assure children

develop a healthy psyche. When kids
are surrounded
by friends or have one close friend,

they have better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
, feel a sense of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
and experience fewer social

problems.

Television is
also
one of the most prevalent media influences in kids'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. How much

impact TV has on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
: how much they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, their age and

personality, whether they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
alone or with adults, and whether their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
talk with

them about what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV.

In my opinion, we cannot generalize as to what has more significance. In the early
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years


family
generally
has more impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in adolescence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
and TV may impact more. It

appears that the power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
group becomes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
when the family

relationships are not close or supportive.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
work extra jobs and

are
largely
unavailable, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may turn to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
group for emotional support.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that behavior is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by a complex interaction

of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
and environment. All these are
inextricably


linked in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There is individual variation and
therefore
it is

difficult to generalize which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
plays the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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