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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? jRbMM
Over the last few decades, the music industry has gone through a boom period. It is believed by some that music has the ability to connect citizens from various traditions and generations under one roof. I agree with this statement. The upcoming paragraphs describe the point to support my view. There are certain reasons to support my view. The first point of prime importance is that music has no language which makes it unique and beneficial. For example, people from all over the world enjoy music, no matter what language they use because music is just all about feelings and emotions. We can usually see that in big international music concerts, people come from all over the world to just listen to their favorite artists. Another point in the list is that music helps to connect various cultures because with the aid of different musical instruments. In other words, each of the musical instruments depicted the culture of their belonging nations. To cite an example, Rabab coming from Afganistan, which also used in various Indian movies and there are also many other instruments that represented different nation's cultures and used all over the world. To conclude, I would like to state that It is an irrefutable fact that music plays a vital role to decrease the generation gap and bring people to one stage because it is a supreme art form with no boundaries.
Over
the last few decades, the
music
industry has gone through a boom period. It
is believed
by
some
that
music
has the ability to connect citizens from various traditions and generations under one roof. I
agree
with this statement. The upcoming paragraphs
describe
the point to support my view. There are certain reasons to support my view. The
first
point of prime importance is that
music
has no language which
makes
it unique and beneficial.
For example
,
people
from all
over
the world enjoy
music
, no matter what language they
use
because
music
is
just
all about feelings and emotions. We can
usually
see
that in
big
international
music
concerts,
people
come
from all
over
the world to
just
listen to their favorite artists. Another point in the list is that
music
helps
to connect various cultures
because
with the aid of
different
musical instruments.
In other words
, each of the musical instruments depicted the culture of their belonging nations. To cite an example,
Rabab
coming from
Afganistan
, which
also
used
in various Indian movies and there are
also
many
other instruments that represented
different
nation's cultures and
used
all
over
the world.
To conclude
, I would like to state that It is an irrefutable fact that
music
plays a vital role to decrease the generation gap and bring
people
to one stage
because
it is a supreme art form with no boundaries.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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