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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constricting new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constricting new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2 wBe9l
Nowadays, transportation is extremely important for general people. It is a heavy debate topic and main headline of the newspapers. While some people believe that more funds should be invest on the building better rail tracks so that journey are faster between of major cities, others are the opinion that, strengthening the older systems will be more beneficial. In my opinion, public transport conditions are improved more crucial than others. I will discuss both views in this essay. On the one hand, Super fast trains gives lots of benefits to others commuters who are traveling through a train specially moving one city to another cities. Otherwise, people can stuck in one place and produce effect on the daily life like jobs which travelers have covering a long distances. For example, Today, electronic trains are coming in big cities like Delhi, Mumbai and more over. These rails are extremely fast and they cut down the dependence rate on various kinds of modes. However, pollution are slightly decrease by using a electronic rails. As a result, environment is clear and pupil are feeling happy. On the other hand, improving a infrastructure of public transport as much needed instead of other transports. They should spend more money on renovate the existing facilities. Because mostly cities are rural where are wanting a basic needs as compared of urban area. These type of citizen can not use a new railway lines. For example, a recent survey say that, there are many places are present in countries which are undeveloped. They have difficulties in traveling. Therefore, plethora of funds are used in these types of transports. In this way, existing facilities demands are increased. In conclusion, according to my opinion, public transport are more important than others. So, more funds should invest in these projects and improving a existing public transport. However, railways lines are solving number of problems. They help the local people in traveling and covering long distance with in a short time.
Nowadays, transportation is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is a heavy debate topic and main headline of the newspapers. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that more funds should be
Consider using the past participle "invested"?
invest
on the building better rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "that journey is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that journey are
faster between of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, others are the opinion that, strengthening the older systems will be more beneficial. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
conditions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
more crucial than others. I will discuss both views in this essay.

On the one hand, Super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains gives lots of benefits to others commuters who are traveling through a train
specially
moving one city to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can stuck in one place and produce effect on the daily life like jobs which travelers have covering a long distances.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, electronic trains are coming in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Delhi, Mumbai and more over. These rails are
extremely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fast and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the dependence rate on various kinds of modes.
However
, pollution are
slightly
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
by using
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
electronic rails.
As a result
, environment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and pupil are feeling happy.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, improving
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
infrastructure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
. They should spend more money on renovate the existing facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are rural where
The verb 'wanting' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are wanting
a basic needs as compared of urban area. These type of citizen can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a new railway lines.
For example
, a recent survey say that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places are present in countries which
are undeveloped
. They have difficulties in traveling.
Therefore
, plethora of funds are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
. In this way, existing facilities demands
are increased
.

In conclusion
, according to my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, more funds should invest in these projects and improving a existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
However
, railways lines are solving number of problems. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in traveling and covering long distance with in a short time.
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IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constricting new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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