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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To whaat extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To whaat extent with this opinion? Lrok8
Music is one of the art which is common people and critics enjoy alike. Some think it has the power to bring along people of distinct cultural values and despite the difference in age. This essay will discuss the resons for this phenomenon and why i strongly believe music plays a bigger role in uniting people in different demographic of society. Despite growing up in different regions in the world embracing different cultures, music do have the potential to unify people. For instance, Reggae is a genre of music which originated from Jamaica, a country in Africa. It helps to spread the message like, love and peace is the ultimate things in life. Owing to the pwerful words and rhythmic beats in this type of music, people from all over the world are attracted to this genre. Now it is popular in all over the world with hundreds of concerts happening around the world. Some music are timeless and they are enjoyed by young people and oldones regardless of their generational gap between them. This is due to, these music stands for their message they are propagating to the world rather than displaying artist's luxuary lifestyle which is very common these days, singers from the past such as Nina Simeone is a good example of producing such kind of music. Eventhough there were multiple conflicts have happened when she relesed her music, but now it is accepted by the young and old alike. HER music played a essential role in uniting the youngsters aand old generation of people in the 'Black Lives Matter' movement. To conclude, music still is one of the biggest artforms embraced by every community in the world. Despite the differences in culture and age gap, music can change the way people think and unite people which is hard to achive using any other forms of art. In my opinion I strongly believe that only music has these kind of power in bringing people altogether.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is one of the art which is common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and critics enjoy alike.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has the power to bring along
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of distinct cultural values and despite the difference in age. This essay will discuss the
Possible spelling mistake found.
resons
for this phenomenon and why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a bigger role in uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
demographic of society. Despite growing up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
embracing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
do have the potential to unify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, Reggae is a genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which originated from Jamaica, a country in Africa. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to spread the message like,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and peace is the ultimate things in life. Owing to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pwerful
words and rhythmic beats in this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are attracted
to this genre.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it is popular in all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with hundreds of concerts happening around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
timeless and
they
are enjoyed
by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldones
regardless of their generational gap between them. This is due to, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
stands for their message they are propagating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
rather
than displaying artist's
Possible spelling mistake found.
luxuary
lifestyle which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common these days, singers from the past such as Nina
Possible spelling mistake found.
Simeone
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of producing such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
there were multiple conflicts have happened when she
Possible spelling mistake found.
relesed
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
alike. HER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
played
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential role in uniting the youngsters
Possible spelling mistake found.
aand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the 'Black
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lives
Matter' movement.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
still
is one of the biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
artforms
embraced by every community in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Despite the differences in culture and age gap,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
using any other forms of art. In my opinion I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of power in bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
altogether.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To whaat extent with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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