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Some people say that all students should study history as a major subject, while others feel that other subjects are important for children in today's society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people say that all students should study history as a major subject, while others feel that other subjects are important for children in today's society. r8Mdl
In today's competitive world, it is quintessential to have a proper knowledge about each and every subject. It is often belived by few people that in the school all students ought to learn history as a mandatory subject. However, others opined that there are others subjects too which are more valuable in today society. So, before arriving my opinion, both the side of arguments will be analysed. Examining the former view, some people said that history is indispensable subject. It is developed new generation mind. This is to say that, it makes students aware of the origin of their nation. People can understand past events via historical lectures. They can elaborate their knowledge in this field. Furthermore, young people learn thier culture and custom of any religious. Nowadays, on account of new technology, people have less interest in history. Thus, this is one of the best point to preserve our history. To exemplify, in China, 70% school learn their acedemicians history as a compulsory. Therefore, they are able to preserving their local history. Nevertheless, a few others are of opposite opinion said thet there are other subjects which are more significant. In recent times, on account of more chances of getting jobs, youngsters give more preference to science and technology and maths than history. To elaborate, it helps our understanding of the world around us. Moreover, pursuing education in these subjects, they are able to to have careers as piolets, doctors, engineers, scientists and many more. For example, in the USA- United States of America, majority of schools impart the knowledge about science and mathematics. Hence, there are lots of scientist and engineers than other countries. To recapitulate and offer my position, school is most important part of children where, they can learn main lesson of our life. History is decreasing very easily due to technology. Consequently, in my opinion, subjects such as science and maths have more importance. So, they should focus on these subjects rather than history.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive world, it is quintessential to have a proper knowledge about each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
by few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
all students ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
However
, others opined that there are others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
too which are more valuable in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving my opinion, both the side of arguments will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
.

Examining the former view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. It
is developed
new generation mind. This is to say that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
students aware of the origin of their nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can understand past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
via historical lectures. They can elaborate their knowledge in this field.
Furthermore
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
culture and custom of any religious. Nowadays, on account of new technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Thus
, this is one of the best point to preserve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. To exemplify, in China, 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
acedemicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as a compulsory.
Therefore
, they are able to preserving their local history.

Nevertheless
, a few others are of opposite opinion said
Possible spelling mistake found.
thet
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which are more significant. In recent times, on account of more chances of getting jobs, youngsters give more preference to science and technology and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. To elaborate, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
our understanding of the world around us.
Moreover
, pursuing education in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they are able
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
have careers as
Possible spelling mistake found.
piolets
, doctors, engineers, scientists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For example
, in the USA- United States of America,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
impart the knowledge about science and mathematics.
Hence
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun scientist seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of scientists".
lots of scientist
and engineers than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

To recapitulate and offer my position,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of children where, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
main lesson of our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
due to technology.
Consequently
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths have
more importance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they should focus on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that all students should study history as a major subject, while others feel that other subjects are important for children in today's society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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