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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things and other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In this contemporary era, advertising plays great role in our business world. Without advertising, the Rising of businesses can not imagine. A lion share of peoples are consider that the increasing of selling things is successful, while the main role is being played by advertisement. On the other hand some are averse it. In my opinion, I tend to agree with this statement due to several logical reasons. First and foremost, Not only it gives us the notion of product's quality, uses, ingredient, but also its adverse effects. For instance, Advertisement of cigarettes. Here we see that smoking causes cancer which is serious ill effects for our health. Adding further, some Advertisement provide essential social message which are absolutely important to alleviate a plethora of social issues. Moreover, it develops social morale as well as social values. For example, Early marriage, birth control, gender discrimination and so on. consequently, by the blessing of this, peoples are being more conscious about their right and these community problems. Last not least, owing to developing of a numerous add media, a large portion of public has being getting job. therefore, a number of jobless peoples has decreasing day by day. Adding further, the rising of a business depends on product's sale, while this selling is now at peak undoubtedly due to advertisement. it acts as a bridge between customer and product sale. On the other hand, sometimes advertisements has seem to be bored when it is same and repeated. consequently, it has lost our attention to it and its product. Ultimately product selling has plunged. Secondly, some Advertisements is being cheat with customer by hiding its side effects and ingredients. For example, recently a news published on whitening cream where a number of brand company did not informed about their harmful ingredient that is hydroquinone, which causes skin cancer. To conclude, Although advertisement has both pros and cons. but it is more advantageous for product marketing. no other way could not prove instead of it.
In this contemporary era, advertising plays great role in our business world. Without advertising, the Rising of businesses can not imagine. A lion share of peoples are
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
that the increasing of selling things is successful, while the main role is
being played
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are averse it. In my opinion, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to several logical reasons.
First
and foremost, Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it gives us the notion of product's quality,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, ingredient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
its adverse effects.
For instance
,
The usual collocation for "Advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
Advertisement of
cigarettes. Here we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that smoking causes cancer which is serious ill effects for our health. Adding
further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "advertisements"?
Advertisement
provide essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
message which are
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to alleviate a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues.
Moreover
, it develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
morale
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values.
For example
, Early marriage, birth control, gender discrimination and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
consequently
, by the blessing of this, peoples are being more conscious about their right and these community problems. Last not least, owing to developing of a numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
media, a large portion of public has being getting job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, a number of jobless peoples has decreasing day by day. Adding
further
, the rising of a business depends on product's sale, while this selling is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
at peak
undoubtedly
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
acts as a bridge between customer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
sale.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
has
Use past participle here: "seemed".
seem
to
be bored
when it is same and repeated.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, it has lost our attention to it and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
selling has plunged.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
is being
Consider using a past participle here: "cheated".
cheat
with customer by hiding its side effects and ingredients.
For example
, recently
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "news".
a news
published on whitening cream where a number of brand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "inform"
informed
about their harmful ingredient
that is
Possible spelling mistake found.
hydroquinone
, which causes skin cancer.
To conclude
, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has both pros and cons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
it is more advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
marketing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
no
other way could not prove
instead
of it.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things and other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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