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Recently published figure shows that wildlife pupulation around world has decreased by fifty percent over the last 50 years.What can we do to help protect the wildlifearound the world?A

Around half of the wildlife population has declined over last fifty years. The main cause of this degradation is natural disaster such as fire however, hunters and poachers also play the crucial role. Lives of wild animals can be reserved by creating natural parks and fence around the forest area. Despite multiple efforts from wild life organisations animal life span has been reducing. Natural disaster such as fire also play a significant role, Due to fire most of the animal in the forest died on spot. To illustrate amazon forest in the brazil has biggest fire in the forest where over thousands of creatures died, it took nearly a month to brazil goverment to control the situation where water splash from helicopters has been used. Adventure activities such as hunting and poaching is pretty famous among yougsters of 20th century. These indivuals hunt the animal like giraffe, bear and later took the fur out to make a fancy clothing. Government has banned these activities now in few areas and created a natural wild life reserve. For instance, There are many safari spot in the india now where you can visit the forest with forest officer and take a closer look, however you can't shoot ir hurt them. To conclude, wild like preservance is much important, to boost this government should completely ban the hunting. Also in case of natural disaster such as fire they should take a prompt response to control it before it gets worse.
Around half of the wildlife population has declined over last fifty years. The main cause of this degradation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disaster such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
however
, hunters and poachers
also
play the crucial role.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lives
of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be reserved
by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
parks and fence around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
area.

Despite multiple efforts from wild life
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
life span has been reducing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Natural
disaster such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
also
play a significant role, Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
on spot. To illustrate
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
brazil
has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
where over thousands of creatures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
, it took
nearly
a month to
Possible spelling mistake found.
brazil
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
to control the situation where water splash from helicopters has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Adventure activities such as hunting and poaching is pretty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among
Possible spelling mistake found.
yougsters
of 20th century. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
indivuals
hunt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
like giraffe, bear and later took the fur out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fancy clothing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
has banned these activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in few areas and created a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
wild life reserve.
For instance
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
safari
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "spots"?
spot
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
where you can visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
officer and take a closer look,
however
you can't shoot
Possible spelling mistake found.
ir
hurt them.

To conclude
, wild like
Possible spelling mistake found.
preservance
is much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, to boost this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should completely ban the hunting.
Also
in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
disaster such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
they should take a prompt response to control it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
worse.
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IELTS essay Recently published figure shows that wildlife pupulation around world has decreased by fifty percent over the last 50 years. What can we do to help protect the wildlifearound the world? A

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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