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Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives

Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives 2bKn6
Advertising plays a very important role in human life, Many think that advertising can give a positive impact on people. In my perspective, I firmly agree with this statement. In this essay, I shall underpin my belief with a relevant example and ideas. Firstly, nowadays people do not watch television much since social media become more important in this period of time. So, advertising about news can give many benefits because it easy and not take a time to watch. A clear example of this is, many do not have time to sit and watch the news on television. so, they will not update about what happening, advertising on social is the solution to this problem moreover, people spend approximately one hour on the street every day due to the traffic jam that a lot of city around the world have to deal with. Advertising on street is other ways to connect with people. Secondly, advertising can help to improve about marketing because it can make people interested in goods. Moreover, it can make new jobs for people who want to open an online shop also people can easily do shopping online they do not have to gout to a shopping mall. Moreover. Advertising can make customers access your goods, It can make many new customers and increase sales To sum up, I firmly believe that advertising can give many benefits to people a lot especially on social media and on the street while people drive during rush hours because people easy see.
Advertising plays a
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human life,
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Many
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think
that advertising can give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
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people
. In my perspective, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In this essay, I shall underpin my belief with a relevant example and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

Firstly
, nowadays
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people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television much since social media become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in this period of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, advertising about
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news
can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
easy and not take a time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. A
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clear
example of this is,
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many
do not have time to sit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
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news
on television.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, they will not update about what happening, advertising on social is the solution to this problem
moreover
,
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people
spend approximately one hour on the street every day due to the traffic jam that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
city around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with. Advertising on street is other ways to connect with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, advertising can
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help
to
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improve
about marketing
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because
it can
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make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interested in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Moreover
, it can
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make
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new
jobs for
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people
who want to open an online shop
also
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people
can
easily
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
online they do not
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have to
gout to a shopping mall.
Moreover
. Advertising can
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make
customers access your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, It can
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make
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customers and increase
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sales


To sum up, I
firmly
believe that advertising can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a lot
especially
on social media and on the street while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drive during rush hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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