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Out of a countrys health budget, a large proportion should be derived from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Out of a countrys health budget, a large proportion should be derived from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. KwVK3
Some people state that subsidizing for health prevention and educational campaigns on healthy lifestyle out from the treatment budget is the best way of improving public health. I completely agree with this point of view as this practice might bring medical and socio-economic prosperities. There are several reasons why preventative measures should be prioritized over the treatment practices. Firstly, there are a growing number of patients suffering various illnesses due to the lack of healthcare propagandas. therefore a large proportion of state`s money is assigned on drugs, medical procedures which may cause a reduction in the public budget. Secondly, due to the disability of patients to work there might be a significant decrease in the work productivity. Finally, people who were diagnosed with incurable diseases have worse quality of life. For instance. those who have stage 4 cancer are barely able to serve themselves and always require relatives, nurses to assist them. If people be aware of the consequences of unhealthy lifestyle there will be less possibility of severe diseases such as cancer, thus have longer lifespan and better quality of life. Furthermore, bringing this approaches into practice can save a large amount of state`s finances that might go to the reduction in poverty or education. In conclusion, my view is that goverments should give more prefrence to prevention practices by deriving money out from that meant for the treatment and i believe that this approach might bring long term econic, socian and medical progress which are the indicators of the nation`s prosperity.
Some
people
state that subsidizing for health prevention and educational campaigns on healthy lifestyle out from the treatment budget is the best way of improving public health. I completely
agree
with this point of view as this
practice
might
bring medical and
socio-economic
prosperities
.

There are several reasons why preventative measures should
be prioritized
over the treatment
practices
.
Firstly
, there are a growing number of patients suffering various illnesses due to the lack of healthcare
propagandas
.
therefore
a large proportion of
state`s
money
is assigned
on drugs, medical procedures which may cause a reduction in the public budget.
Secondly
, due to the disability of patients to work there
might
be a significant decrease in the work productivity.
Finally
,
people
who
were diagnosed
with incurable diseases have worse quality of life.
For instance
.
those
who have stage 4 cancer are
barely
able to serve themselves and always require relatives, nurses to assist them. If
people
be aware of the consequences of unhealthy lifestyle there will be less possibility of severe diseases such as cancer,
thus
have longer lifespan and better quality of life.
Furthermore
, bringing this approaches into
practice
can save a large amount of
state`s
finances that
might
go to the reduction in poverty or education.

In conclusion
, my view is that
goverments
should give more
prefrence
to prevention
practices
by deriving money out from that meant for the treatment and
i
believe that this approach
might
bring long term
econic
,
socian
and medical progress which are the indicators of the
nation`s
prosperity.
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IELTS essay Out of a countrys health budget, a large proportion should be derived from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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