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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? m19JK
At present many people believe that advertisements exhort people to buy unnecessary items, on the other hand, some people think that advertisements inspire people to buy needful items. In my opinion, advertisements are important to our society, because people choose the verity of products according to the advertisements. Some of the significant reasons behind the value of the advertisements are noted below paragraphs. Firstly, nowadays people are more attracted to the advertisements. Major companies are keener to develop customer-oriented advertisements so that people are more tempted to buy these particular products. Advertisements play a vital role in our life such as advertisements focus to deliver new techniques. For example, advertisements like detergents explain new formulas to keep our clothes new. These kind of advertisements are predominantly helping humans to experience new technology. Secondly, advertisements are giving opportunity to select products that are exactly suitable for the customer. Multiple advertisements for a specific item encourage the people to choose which product is fit for His/her perfectly. For instance, different cosmetic firms are offering a verity of cosmetic products to the customer, however, it is often people confused with the content of the particular item nevertheless, advertisements describe what is exactly included in the product obviously, it is good for every customer to pick the right product. In conclusion, advertisements are the key factor for to choose the ideal product for everyone. Advertisements motivate the people to reject products that are not good for them, ultimately, it will help people to save their valuable money.
At present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
exhort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
needful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose the verity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
significant reasons behind the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are noted
below paragraphs.

Firstly
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more attracted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are keener to develop customer-oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more tempted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
play a vital role in our life such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
focus to deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
techniques.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
like detergents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
formulas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
predominantly
helping humans to experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are giving opportunity to select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are exactly suitable for the customer. Multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
for a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is fit
for His/her
perfectly
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cosmetic firms are offering a verity of cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the customer,
however
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
confused with the content of the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
what is exactly included in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
obviously
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for every customer to pick the right product.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are the key factor for to choose the ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to reject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them,
ultimately
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save their valuable money.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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