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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? gw0g
Some people believe that advertising makes people buy products that are not needed and supporters of advertisement says that it helps people to know about new product in the market. In my opinion, advertisements might lead people to buy things that are not necessary for them. There could be many reasons for this and this essay will discuss one of them. There are many ways for advertising the product and one of them is via influencers. There are millions of people who follow these influencers on digital platforms. Companies give out products to them so that they could promoted. Moreover, an influencer could give fake review of the product because the company had paid them to do it. Due to this, many people fall into this trap and buy the product just because their favorite online star has said it. As a result, people buy things that are not required by them. For example, a survey done by Oxford University revealed that many people get influenced by online creators and buy things that are being promoted by them. They tend to spend more money than usual. I agree with this view. On the other hand, some people have opinion that advertisement give knowledge about the product in the market. When a product is launched, company uses different forms of media to make sure that their item reach every corner of the world. This brings awareness into the people about the product which is available in the market. As a result, consumer could make choices between the things. If advertising is forced into our faces than it could make people to buy things unnecessarily. In conclusion, I agree with the view that promotion of products by the influencers could make people buy things out of necessity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not needed and supporters of advertisement says that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market. In my opinion, advertisements might lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that are not necessary for them. There could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this and this essay will discuss one of them.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways for advertising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and one of them is via influencers.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
There
are millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who follow these influencers on digital platforms.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
give out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "promote"
promoted
.
Moreover
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influencer
could give fake review of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
had paid them to do it. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fall into this trap and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their favorite online star has said it.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that are not required by them.
For example
, a survey done by Oxford University revealed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by online creators and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that are
being promoted
by them. They tend to spend more money than usual. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have opinion that advertisement give knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is launched
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of media to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure that their item reach every corner of the world. This brings awareness into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which is available in the market.
As a result
, consumer could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
choices between the things.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
advertising
is forced
into our faces than it could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things
unnecessarily
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by the influencers could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things out of necessity.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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