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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people argue that advertisement force them to buy unnecessary things. While other find out it to improve knowledge about new products. In this essay I will discuss about both point of view and give my opinion. Let start with pros of advertisement. Firstly, It gives ideas and specification of new products. For Example, Smart phone advertisement gives us idea about new features available in latest smart phone so we can compare features between different smart phone. Secondly, we can compare price of same product provided by different companies. For Example, Fragrance spay has provided by different companies like Axe, Mankind and Old Dutch. So, we can compare price and save some money. Furthermore, Advertisement helpful to solve day to day life problems. We never know about Fevikwik can fix any broken Stuff. Due to Advertisement, we get to know how to use this product and importance in our daily life. There are many products available in market which is very helpful to our daily life. Without advertisement we were never aware of that products. On the other hand, some time due to attractive advertisement we buy things which is not useful in day-to-day life. When give advertisement with large discount, attract people to buy unnecessary things. When we saw large discount on toys, gadget and decoration products, we buy it and later on found as an extra stuff in our house. If individual take care of their budget and only buy necessary things. Then advertisement is helpful to save money and give knowledge of new products. So, Pros overweight the cons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that
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advertisement
force them to
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buy
unnecessary things.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
other find out it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In this essay I will
Did you mean simply “discuss both”? You do not need the word “about” here.
discuss about both
point of view and
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give
my opinion.

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Let
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start
with pros of
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advertisement
.
Firstly
, It
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gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and specification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For Example
,
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
Smart phone
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advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
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new
features available in
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
smart phone
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so
we can compare features between
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different
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
.
Secondly
, we can compare price of same
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product
provided by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
For Example
, Fragrance spay has provided by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Axe, Mankind and
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Old
Dutch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can compare price and save
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some
money.

Furthermore
,
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Advertisement
helpful to solve day to day
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life
problems. We never know about
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fevikwik
can
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fix
any broken Stuff. Due to
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Advertisement
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and importance in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available in market which is
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very
helpful to our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Without
The comma is probably missing here: “advertisement, we”.
advertisement we
were never aware of that products.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time due to attractive
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advertisement
we
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buy
things which is not useful in day-to-day
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life
. When
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give
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advertisement
with large discount, attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
large discount on toys, gadget and decoration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it and later on found as an extra stuff in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

If individual take care of their budget and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
necessary things. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is helpful to save money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Pros overweight the cons.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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