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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with NrV2b
Marketing of products has become one of the controversial topics for the common man as it influences the buying behaviour of the consumers. Often, it is argued that it influences people to purchase unproductive products which are not really required but I think it helps to improve one's life by enabling them to improve their standard of living and help them to purchase items with latest technology. Both these points will be elucidated in upcoming passages. To start with, advertisements of products will enhance the standard of living of people in numerous ways. Firstly, the items which are productive and can be used in day to day life will help them to work comfortably. Secondly, the products of different companies can be compared through advertising which will help them to differentiate between quality and prices. For instance, the refrigerator of LG and whirlpool are very different in terms of prices and storage capacity. Usually, people buy LG refrigerator as it has larger storage capacity and their prices are reasonable enough. Hence, advertising influences the way of living. In addition to this, the latest technology in the products can be learnt from the advertisements. These are created in such a way that a brief description is shown about the products and technology used in it which will make customers think about the same. These days, on television, it is commonly seen that fan of the Havells company has the inbuilt feature of turning on and off the fan along with managing the speed of the same. This innovation is not seen in other company's fans. So, there is no doubt that it will tell the consumers about the latest innovation used. To recapitulate, product marketing revamps one's life by improving their living standards and also by making them advanced with the latest technology. Furthermore, similar products can be compared through adverts shown on various platforms.
Marketing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has become one of the controversial topics for the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
as it influences the buying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the consumers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, it
is argued
that it influences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unproductive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are not
really
required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's life by enabling them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their standard of living and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Both these points will
be elucidated
in upcoming passages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, advertisements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will enhance the standard of living of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in numerous ways.
Firstly
, the items which are productive and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in day to day life will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to work
comfortably
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
be compared
through advertising which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to differentiate between quality and prices.
For instance
, the refrigerator of LG and whirlpool are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in terms of prices and storage capacity.
Usually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
LG refrigerator as it has larger storage capacity and their prices are reasonable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Hence
, advertising influences the way of living.

In addition
to this, the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the advertisements. These
are created
in such a way that a brief description
is shown
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in it which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the same. These days, on television, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that fan of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Havells
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has the inbuilt feature of turning on and off the fan along with managing the speed of the same. This innovation is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's fans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is no doubt that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the consumers about the latest innovation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
marketing revamps one's life by improving their living standards and
also
by making them advanced with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Furthermore
, similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be compared
through adverts shown on various platforms.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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