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Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree?

Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. YL2VQ
Nowadays some people discuss who should be responsible for maintaining our houses cleaned. Considering a house which both men and women work full-time, I believe it is totally fair splitting equally the tasks related to household and this essay will expose the arguments to support my opinion. It has become common in our society women working in full-time jobs and, at the same time, having responsibilities of household chores. This is because we live in a society that thinks men should not be responsible for this kind of activities. However, this thought is totally wrong and outdated. If both work full-time, there is no sense only women doing such activity. Fortunately, this kind of behaviour is changing and more and more men are doing household tasks. Additionally, some women also have the responsibility of raising children, what makes them triple journey workers. Furthermore, householding chores, such as cleaning and cutting grass, is highly demanding. Not only it consumes time, but also energy. That being said, there is no better way other than splitting these tasks equally. For example, I and my wife both work full-time and, therefore, we share our responsibilities in the best way for us. This attitude helps us to keep the house cleaned and we both have benefits. To sum up, although some people think only women should have household responsibilities, such as cleaning and washing dishes, I believe the best way is to divide these tasks equally for both men and women because these tasks are highly demanding.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discuss who should be responsible for maintaining our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
cleaned. Considering a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
work full-time, I believe it is
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
splitting
equally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
and this essay will expose the arguments to support my opinion.

It has become common in our society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
working in full-time jobs and, at the same time, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should not be responsible for this kind of activities.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and outdated. If both work full-time, there is no sense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
doing such activity.
Fortunately
, this kind of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is changing and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of raising children, what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them triple journey workers.

Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
householding
chores, such as cleaning and cutting grass, is
highly
demanding. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it consumes time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
energy. That
being said
, there is no better way other than splitting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
equally
.
For example
, I and my wife both work full-time and,
therefore
, we share our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
in the best way for us. This attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cleaned and
we both have benefits.

To sum up, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
, such as cleaning and washing dishes, I believe the best way is to divide these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
equally
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are
highly
demanding.
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IELTS essay Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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