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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It is a fact the advertisement is the backbone of the industry as without advertisement customer reach would have been a cumbersome job. However it is also imperative to understand the negative impacts of the advertisements. Hence, I completely agree that advertising encourages us to buy things that are not required in our lives. Firstly, In my opinion most of the companies are misleading customers with incomplete or false information resulting them to buy products which are not actually needed. This is due to absence of strict laws against false advertisement. To illustrate this, we can take an example of skin lightening creams which are available abundantly in market. These creams claim to provide fair skin tones. However, none of these creams can change the skin tone still, they have huge customer base which gets deluded by their false claims delivered by popular influencers and Bollywood actors. Hence, this shows us that false advertising can lead to create customer base for useless products. Secondly, I believe misrepresentation of facts about the product in the advertisement is the biggest reason of creating market for unwanted products. Companies often advertises their product in a way which will be most luring for the customers. For example, advertisements used for healthy food segments available in the market are marketed as most healthy options with no harmful ingredients in it. However, most of these healthy options have minimal healthy ingredients in it. Hence, deluding customers to buy unwanted products. Therefore, this tells us that products can be sold in market without serving any actual purpose especially with strategic advertisement. To sum up, Advertisement is an extremely powerful tool for companies to create sales for their products which are not required or useful. Hence, there should be strict laws to prevent customers from getting deceived from false advertising. On the other hand, it is also a responsibility of a product company to provide complete and correct information for their products which will allow a customer to make an informed decision.
It is a fact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the backbone of the industry as without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
reach would have been a cumbersome job.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is
also
imperative to understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Hence
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that advertising encourages us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that are not required in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
, In my opinion most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are misleading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
with incomplete or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
false
information resulting them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are not actually needed. This is due to absence of strict laws against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. To illustrate this, we can take an example of skin lightening creams which are available
abundantly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. These creams claim to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
skin tones.
However
, none of these creams can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the skin tone
still
, they have huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
base which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
deluded by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
false
claims delivered by popular influencers and Bollywood actors.
Hence
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
false
advertising can lead to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
base for useless products.

Secondly
, I believe misrepresentation of facts about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the biggest reason of creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
advertises their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in a way which will be most luring for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food segments available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
are marketed
as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
options with no harmful ingredients in it.
However
, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
options have minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
ingredients in it.
Hence
, deluding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be sold
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
without serving any actual purpose
especially
with strategic advertisement.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is an
extremely
powerful tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to create sales for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are not required or useful.
Hence
, there should be strict laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
from getting deceived from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
false
advertising.
On the other hand
, it is
also
a responsibility of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to provide complete and correct information for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed decision.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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